Nine
by itsacoolparty
Summary: Ana and Christian are just teenagers trying to have fun, but something unexpected could change their lives forever.
1. Chapter 1

**Hola, mis amigos! How's it going? This is a new story I'm starting, so tell me what you think! I might not continue, so tell me if I should or shouldn't. Also, CG and AS are both eighteen. **

* * *

I lied awake, staring at the ceiling. I couldn't fall asleep. I had been up since 11 PM, just laying down. My stomach was roiling, and my head was swimming. I tried not to move, fearing it would make my nausea worse. _I thought you only got morning sickness in the morning?_ I had been feeling sick all day yesterday, and I still haven't felt any relief carrying on into the early depths of today. I shifted ever so lightly to look at my bedside clock. It was now 4:30 AM. Great! I've been up for 5 hrs straight. I guess I won't be going to school tomorrow. I shifted back to a comfortable position-but I did it too fast. My head swam worse than before, and my stomach lurched. Oh, God, not now! I jumped out of bed and ran just in time to get to the bathroom connected to my bedroom. There, I emptied the contents of my stomach into the porcelain bowl. My stomach racked violently and my throat felt extremely sore. Soon after, I was just left with dry heaves. A little after that, I was done altogether. Hopefully, this would be the big event that would settle my stomach... _Nope._ My head began to swim and once more, my stomach began to roil. If this was how it was going to be the whole time, I don't know what I'll do. I looked down at my still flat stomach. _It won't stay that way for long..._ I cradled my belly and felt tears well in my eyes. Oh, Baby, look what you're doing to me.

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**Did you like it? R and R please! Love you guys! 3**


	2. Chapter 2

The sun was shining steadily through my window. I could feel the warm rays radiating off my skin. I opened my eyes, yawned, and stretched my aching limbs. Ugh._ I feel like shit._ I looked at my bedside clock, and my heart leaped out of my chest. 9:45. Shit! School started 2 hours ago! I jolted out of bed, gaining protest from my stomach. I scrambled to get dressed and ready. Why didn't anyone wake me up?! I could walk to school considering I lived only two blocks away. For once, the close proximity to my school has come in handy. I throw on my clothes, brush my teeth in less than 30 seconds, and rake a brush through my hair. I stare into the mirror. I really look like shit. *Sigh* My life can't get any worse at the moment. I grab my backpack and begin my journey to school.

* * *

"From 1691-1692 there were mass persecutions going on in the southern parts of America. Can anyone tell me what the name of these events are?"  
I quickly shuffled into my seat, which so happened to be right next to Christian. I prayed that Mrs. Lourdes didn't notice my entrance.  
"Miss Steele? I'm hoping you answering this question could make up for your very late entrance."  
A few kids in the back snickered. I let out a long sigh. My day just keeps getting better.  
"Um... The Salem Witch Trials?"  
"Correct. Congratulations, you just bought your way out of a detention."  
I sunk lower into my seat and groaned. This was so embarrassing.

"Where were you?" Christian whispered at me. I turned and saw his grey eyes. They were so beautiful. Every time I saw them, I would just melt. I wonder if our baby will have grey eyes._ You mean your baby. He'll leave your ass once he finds out..._  
"Overslept," I mouthed at him. I still hadn't told Christian about my "situation." I didn't know how to bring it up, and I was afraid he'd flip. This could ruin his life. He has so much going for him. He's brilliant, and I know he will be excepted into any college he chooses. I don't want this to hold him back. My heart sinks low into my stomach. Why now? Why did this have to happen? I want to yell at the sky and curse the gods for their wickedness, but it was all me. All us. And I guess this is the consequence._ A pretty fucked up consequence that'll haunt us for 18 years._

* * *

"Guess who!" I felt warm familiar hands wrap around my eyes from behind me. I can't believe Christian still did such childish things, but I couldn't help but giggle.  
"Um... Mia?"  
"No."  
"Hannah."  
"No."  
"Mr. Dover?"  
"Ana!"  
I chuckled and spun around towards him. His eyes were filled with mirth, and it was a sight to see. I was so used to always seeing his eyes hard as flint, and his face turned up into a scowl. I stood on my tiptoes and gave him a peck on the lips. I mentally stored the feel of his lips on mine into my brain. I know as soon as I tell him, things will be over. And I don't blame him. I don't want a child either, and he has a chance to get out. Of course I'll let him.  
_You have a chance to get out too..._  
I didn't even acknowledge that thought. There was no way I was killing my child. It's not their fault, it's mine.  
_And Christians. It was his sperm that impregnated you..._  
He ran his fingers through my hair.  
"I missed you this morning. I can't really believe you overslept two hours."  
"Well, believe it."  
"Are you sick? Stressed?"  
_Just pregnant, is all._  
"No. I'm fine. Healthy as a horse!"  
My over enthusiasm must have tipped him off because he gave me a strange look.  
"Are you sure? Because you're acting weird"  
"I'm fine, Christian. Just leave it alone.."  
My heart was starting to pound and my nerves tightened. Oh, God, please don't let him be on to something..  
"Okay. Fine, Ana. Have it your way."  
He wrapped his arm around my waist and we made our way to the cafeteria. The smells immediately overwhelmed me right when I walked into the lunch room. There were so many flavors, many of which were making me nauseous. Oh, no. Not during school! My stomach started its roiling, which was an eerily familiar feeling to me now. Christian led me to the lunch line, and I almost lost it right then and there. They were serving Mac and cheese and the smell was unbearable! I took a deep breath and swallowed it down.  
"Um, can we get something else?"  
"What do you want?"  
I thought about it. Really, really thought about it. Once I started thinking of food I just couldn't stop. There were so many things I wanted.. No. Needed. But there was one thing I wanted so badly.  
"Eggs. Eggs and pizza. Eggs on top, please. Oh! And lots and lots of cheese."  
Christian gave me a puzzled and somewhat disgusted look. It took me a few moments to understand why. Damnit! I must've looked crazy. Who eats eggs and pizza?! He's definitely going to figure it out now..  
"Ana... What's wrong with you? You hate eggs. You haven't eaten them since we were 5."  
"Jeez. Maybe I just want to mix it up. Can't I choose what I want to eat without you questioning me?!" For some reason I just exploded. There was this sudden feeling of extreme anger. I was filled with rage and I just really wanted to punch Christian right then and there. Jesus, what is going on with me? One minute I'm happy, the next I'm angry.  
_Pregnancy hormones, dumbass_  
Oh, yeah. Those.  
I couldn't shake this feeling of anger, and I just felt so upset, I burst in to tears. I just felt so damn frustrated! I felt horrible, I was making a fool of myself, I'm soon going to get really fat, and in about nine months I'll have a new life to take care of without the help of Christian. I wanted this all to go away! Every single damn thing! I turned around and ran out the caf, ignoring Christians cries behind me. I just ran. Ran and ran and ran, until I got to the girls bathroom, where I promptly threw up.


	3. Chapter 3

**Wow, thanks so much for the positive reviews! After reading this, I need suggestions, so just tell me what you guys want to see in the next chapter. Thanks so much for reading guys! I love you 3**

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"Hmm, will you be a girl or a boy?" I rubbed soothing circles over my stomach whilst talking aloud, supposedly to my unborn child. I realized how silly this must've looked and immediately stopped. It's not like he/she could hear me anyway. I sometimes wish they could though. Or maybe that we could communicate, and they could tell me that everything's going to be okay-except that it's not. Everything would change now. I wouldn't be able to go out with my friends, or walk anywhere in public without judging eyes following me around. At my prom, I'm going to be fat. Did they even make maternity prom dresses? Christian will probably leave me, my parents will never forgive me, and the worst thing of all: what kind of mother will I be? I'm so scared that I'll be a failure. The worst mother possible. I'm terrified that I'll neglect it, or never be able to fulfill all of their needs. I don't want my child to to grow up resenting me, but for some reason I feel like they will. The thought depresses me and I push it out of my head. I don't know how I'm going to tell people. I haven't told anyone yet. I'm so embarrassed, scared, ashame-

THUMP!

My noisy neighbors are at it again. I sigh, I can hardly get any sleep at night between the sickness and their antics-

THUMP!

I listen again and it sounds like the noise is coming from my window. What the heck? I make my way over to the other side of my room and towards my window. I look down and see a grey eyed boy with a mop of cooper hair. Christian's outside my window?

"Christian, what the hell are you doing?" I don't think I can deal with the emotional stress being around him will cause. Every second I would be worried about him figuring it out, or me having to tell him. I don't want either to happen.  
He gives me a cheeky smile and says, "Can't I come and see my favorite girl in the world? Let me in!"  
I don't think it's a coincidence that he comes over when my parents aren't here. He does have a bit of a stalker tendency. I roll my eyes and go downstairs to open the door. As soon as I do, he grabs me around my waist, and twirls me around in a circle. Oh, God. That was not good for my stomach. He puts me down and gives me a soft peck on the lips.

"Woah! Slow down, Mr Chubbs. Your stomachs looking a little pudgy." He pokes my stomach, and I immediately swat his hand away, covering my belly self consciously.

"Why are you here?" I'm panicking inside. He's noticed the weight gain. I didn't even know I was gaining weight! In my nervous rambling, my tone came out sharper than I meant it to. He frowned and looked hurt.

"You don't want to see me?"

"No, or course I want to see you! I'm sorry, I'm just.. Self conscious." I feel bad and wrap my arms around him. I lay my head on his chiseled chest and breathe in his scent. I let out a content sigh. This is where my heart lies. Right with him. _Not for long..._

"You have nothing to be self conscious about. You're perfect. I was just teasing you..."  
I smile and feel extreme bliss from his words. He's so sweet to me. This is one of the reasons I love him.

"Here, I brought you something," he divulges. He digs into his pocket and pulls out a small liquor bottle. "I thought we'd celebrate you making it on the National Honor Society! I saw it posted in the office." He gives me the biggest smile filled with pride. I'm warmed at the sentiment, and panicked by it too. I can't drink! I don't want to harm the baby..

"Christian, that's so sweet! But.. Um, my stomachs been really upset lately. And you know I don't drink that much.."

"Oh come on, Ana. I think this warrants a small drink," he coaxes.

"I... I don't.." Would just one drink be deadly? Christian doesn't like when people say no, and I don't know if he'll believe my excuses, but I don't want to take a chance and damage my child.

"Ana," he wines, " don't make me waste this."

" I-I can't. I'm sorry, but I'm just too sick."

"Why are you so sick all the time? Do you need me to take you to the hospital?" Oh, no. Protective Christian is kicking in.

"No! I'm fine... Really."

"You've been throwing up a lot. I really want to take you. You could be dying!" He exclaims. Of course he would blow it out of proportion. I'm definitely not dying, although it feels like it sometimes.

"I'm fine! I just don't feel like drinking!"

"Nope! You're definetly going." He grabs my arm, and I try to resist, but the next thing I know I'm being hauled outside and into his car. Oh, no, I groan. This might be the end of my life as I know it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Oh, hey guys. Didn't see you there. ^.* This chapter was incredible and challenging to write. I poured my heart in to it, and I really hope you love it.3 and speaking of love, I love you guys. So. Freaking. Much. **

**Xoxo**

* * *

"I'm fine. Really we don't have to do this," I say to Christian. My heart is racing and my palms are sweaty. Dear God, today can NOT be the day that he finds out. Maybe the doctor will just say I have a stomach virus or something..

"No, we do actually. I want to make sure you're okay," he says, and snakes an arm around my waist. Damn him for being so caring. I want to be angry, but the sentiment makes me feel cherished. And panicky, because if they make me take a pregnancy test... I'm fucked.

"Anastasia Steele?" The nurse calls out. Oh, no. I want-no need-more time! I am so not ready for this.

_Okay, calm down, Steele. They won't even broach that possibility.. They'll say its the flu!_

"Ana.. Come on." I look up, and see Christian hovering above me. Oh, I didn't realize I was still sitting down... Unmoving. The nurse seems to be getting impatient.

"Right, sorry lets go." I stand up, and walk towards the nurse and allow her to take me into one of the hospital rooms.

In this moment, my life could change forever.

* * *

"Okay! Hello, how are you today?! It seems your having some trouble with vomiting and nausea I hear?!" The nurse is all smiles and WAYY too much enthusiasm. She hasn't stopped smiling and exclaiming since we've got in here. To be honest, it's kind of creeping me out.

"Uh, yes-"

"Actually, Miss, " Christian butts in, "she has been vomiting the whole week, her stomach seems to be distended, shes oversleeping, and getting very dizzy. She almost passed out on me yesterday!" Christian exclaims. I send him the most hostile glare I can, and now I know I'm screwed. It's really true, guys know NOTHING about pregnancy. He just described almost all of the pregnancy symptoms in the book, and he honestly doesn't even realize it.

"Isn't that like all of the symptoms of one of those weird tropical diseases? Ana's going to be okay, right?" He's getting hysterical now. The nurse does her best to calm him down.

"Actually, I think I know just what the problem is. I'm going to go get the doctor." My stomach drops at her tone and judging eyes. She knows and I can tell. She seems to know that I know, and it gives her pleasure to see me squirm.

Hmm, looks like someone's not all smiles and enthusiasm.  
She exits the room, and the door closes with a soft click behind her.

"It doesn't seem to be that serious. The nurse seemed pretty calm just now," Christian declares. I don't answer him, and continue to look down. I have no words, but my thoughts are a jumbled mess. I look over at Christian, and he seems very relaxed now, considering he's over that whole hysterical episode. I sigh. Oh, baby, you have no idea what you're in for.

* * *

It seems like we've been waiting here for hours. What the hell? The hospital isn't even that busy today. It seems like they're deliberately ignoring us, and Christian is getting more irritated by the second. More so than I am. His eyes are now stormy grey, instead of the vibrant grey ones they were before we got here. The door opens, and Christian lets out an angry and relieved sigh.

"It's about damn time," he mutters.

"Hello! I'm Dr. Gre-Oh my god. Ana and Christian?" Dr. Grey exclaims. Every single cell in my body has frozen. I'm lost for words. Out of all the doctors in Seattle, the one to diagnosis my pregnancy is the grandmother of my child?! Wow! Thanks, fate. You sure are helping me a lot here...

"Oh, hey, mom. I didn't know you were working today. Me and Ana just came in because Ana's been sick lately." Christian doesn't seem to be picking up on the emotional distress in the room. Me and Dr. Grey are staring at each other-both in horror. I'm about damn near having a panic attack, and Dr. Grey's jaw has dropped to the floor. Her eyes are as round as saucers, and she's pale as ever.

Christian's picking lint off his sweater.

"So... Can we get this started? What's going on with Ana?" Always impatient that boy is.

_Hmm, maybe that's how baby grey got here..._

"Honey.. Can me and Ana talk alone?"

"Yes."

"No."

Me and Christian turn around to glare at each other. Why does he have to be so damn privy. And besides, the information she's going to tell us, will be something he doesn't want to know!

"Anything that involves Ana involves me, Mother." Uh oh, she's not mom anymore. She's "mother." That's another sign that's he once again irritated.

"Honey.." Mr. Grey doesn't even know what to say. I think she just got the shock of her life just about now. I feel horrible. I'm putting so much stress on the people I care about...

"Nope. I'm not leaving." He's so damn stubborn! And in an instant, all of the fight has left me. I'm so damn tired of hiding it, and pretending that I'm okay. Because I'm not! I just want this all out... Better yet, I want it to end. But that's not possible now. So, now it's time to put on my big girl panties, and deal with this head on.

"Ya know, what? He can stay. He was going to figure it out anyway..." It's amazing what saying that 14 word sentence did to me. I just felt so calm, like a boulder that was on top of my chest, has now been lifted. I feel so... Serene.

"Okay, we'll in that case, Ana can you please go to the bathroom and take this test? I have a feeling you already know the answer though," Grace says to me. I try to ignore the slight edge in her voice. No doubt she's unhappy.. And I don't blame her. I take the test and stand up, but before I leave I see Christians face. His eyes are round-impossibly round-and all the blood has drained from his face.

_Nice job, Grey! You finally figured it out_...

* * *

"Okay, Ana, this might be a little cold," the technician tells me. (Mr. Grey is trained to give ultrasounds, but once the pregnancy test came back positive, she got the hell out of there. We haven't seen her sense. I feel so guilty. No doubt sweet Grace is freaking out. She doesn't deserve all this anxiety.) She spurts a decent amount of blue gel on my tummy-it's cold, just like she said. I suck in a quick breath, and Christian is soon beside me.

"Are you okay?" He asks. It's the only thing he's said since he's found out. I don't know what he's thinking, and it's scaring me. I don't know if he's angry, happy, sad, or confused. I'm all of those mixed together, but I so badly want to know how he's taking this.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Actually, I'm not. But I don't tell him that. He's already in shock, and doesn't need my mood to further burden him. It seems that's all I've ever been to anybody lately. A burden. The thought makes me sick, and I feel so bad I just want to cry. When was the last time I have? It seems like forever..

_It was yesterday, you idiot._

The technician is moving the device around my stomach, but nothing seems to be happening. Aren't we supposed to be seeing the baby?

Christian and I both turn to look, but we still don't see anything yet. As we continue to gaze, I hear this very peculiar sound. It sounds like the thundering of a thousand galloping horses. It's strange.. But yet peaceful. And beautiful.. Yes, that's the word: beautiful.

"Ma'am, what is that strange sound?" I ask her. I find it to be amazing. I wish I could record it and take it home with me. It's something I wouldn't mind listening to for the rest of my life.

She smiles, and says, "That's your baby's heartbeat." I gasp. Oh, my. My child was producing such a beautiful sound? I couldn't help it, my heart swelled with sudden adoration.. And love. I didn't notice before, but I think I do now. I love my baby, even if I haven't met it yet. The dam that I've been holding in suddenly bursts. I thought that this baby was a curse.. A damnation. But how could something that sounds so wonderful be evil? It just couldn't. It just simply couldn't.

I look at Christian, and his eyes seem weird. They seem glossy, almost. What is he thinking? I want to know, with every fiber of my being. I start to open my mouth, but all of a sudden the noise stops.

The technician removes the wand, and takes out another. I feel so naked without the baby's heartbeat in the background... Almost lonely. I want to hear it again.

"Now, miss Steele, you'll be able to see the baby. This will help us determine the age."

The loss that I felt after the heartbeat stopped sounding, is replaced by the image on the screen. The most breathtaking thing I've seen in my life, is right there in front of me. A little blip. It's so small... So beautiful. I just want to reach out and touch it. I can't believe that something so perfect is living inside of me. It makes me feel... Special.

"How old is... It?" I am almost startled by the sound of a husky velvet voice coming from my right side. Christian hasn't said anything about the baby so far, and I'm surprised.. Maybe a little relieved that he's taking interest.

"Approximately 12 weeks. You're pretty far along, Ana. We're going to need to get you on vitamins immediately, and we'll also have pamphlets about what to expect and..." I zone out while the technician continues to talk. I'll figure everything out later, but I just want to look at my baby some more. It seems so surreal. And magical. Did I really help make this? I can't believe it. It's so wonderful.. And I feel ridiculous. I'm such a cliche. Pregnant woman fawning over her unborn child. But I can't help it.. Pregnancy is beautiful. Just as everyone describes it to be.

_Let's see how beautiful it is when Christian dumps your ass, and you grow up a single unemployed mother!_

I ignore the voice in my head. Nothing can spoil this moment-not even those terrible thoughts. I continue to gaze, but apparently I was wrong. Something _can_ ruin this moment. The technician removes the wand, and starts to remove the gel. Once again, I feel lonely.

Empty.

I want to just look forever, but clearly I can't. I sit up, and the technician starts handing me pamphlet after pamphlet, and continues to babble. Who knew there was so much to know?

* * *

We're in the car... Silent. I have the bag of vitamins and papers in one hand, and the other caressing my stomach. Christians gaze flickers to my hand, but then quickly shifts away. Oh, no. Is he disgusted? Angry? I'm so tempted to break the silence. It's tense.. Very, very tense. As I open my mouth to start a conversation, Christian does it for me.

"Is it mine?"

_Oh..._

_My..._

_God..._

Did he really just ask that? My jaw has fallen to the floor, and I can't seem to pick it back up. What the hell?! There's no emotion for what I'm feeling, but to best describe it, rage would be the word that I choose.

"Oh, so I'm a slut now?" I exclaimed. I'm too damn angry for words.

"No! I mean.. I just.. That's not what I meant," he murmurs.

"Oh really? So you're too perfect to make such a colossal mistake like this, so the answer must be that I cheated!"

"No! That's not what I'm saying!"

"Then what are you saying, exactly?!"

"I... Goddamnit I don't know! We only did it once.. It just doesn't make sense." His shoulders slouch, and he looks forlorn. Instantly, some of my anger dissipates.

"Yeah, well... Shit happens. It only takes one time, Christian."

"I know.. I'm sorry."

"Me too." As I say it, I realize how true my statement is. How much I mean it. I mean it so much that it hurts.. So much that I want to cry.

"Please, Christian. Talk to me! I've been sitting here pulling my hair out, wondering what you're thinking. What do you want me to do? Get rid of it? Are you angry? Do you want this? Will you leave me...?"

"No! God, why would you think that? I'm not... Mad. I'm... Shocked. Really fucking shocked to put it lightly. I just.. I don't know what to think right now."

"Can you try... To explain?"

"God Ana, I.. I'm.. Scared, shocked, confused. How the hell are we going to do this?! We're not even out of school! Goddamnit!" He slams his hand on the steering wheel. "I don't know how we're going to support it, or support ourselves for that matter! I don't know how we're gonna graduate, or get jobs, or.. Shit! This is just a mess! Everything about this is a mess! I feel like complete shit do you know that...? It's my fault.. I didn't think we would need.. It was your first, I thought... Ugh! I'm stupid! So fucking stupid!" He slams his hand down again. This time harder, making me jump. "I can't... I don't want to end up like her.. The crack whore.. My, my birth mother. I don't want to be a horrible parent, I'm so... I can't..." He pulls the car over, and jumps out.

"Christian?! Christian!" I jump out, and chase after him. What the hell is going on?! I run a few more feet, and find Christian huddled on the ground, sitting with his knees up to his chest, and his head on his knees.

"Christian? Are you okay..?"

No reply.

"Christian, please. Can... Will you please talk to me..."

...

"At least look at me?" I wait, and wait, and wait. Just when I think he's going to keep ignoring me, Christian looks up, and the sight pains my heart. Christians eyes are red rimmed and tears are falling down his face. He's breathing heavy, and letting out small, strangled sobs. I can't hold back anymore, I crouch down immediately and envelope him in my arms. He hugs me back.

Damn, this is really messed up. I feel just as overwhelmed as him, and it pains me to see him in this state. Christian has always been the strong one, he's never cried in front of me. The sight of him just evokes every emotion I've been holding back since I've found out about the pregnancy. All the sadness, angst, anger, fear, shame, leaves my body, and I find my self crying right along with Christian. My own sobs match his own, and we look like a pathetic heap on the ground. We're out in the middle of nowhere just crying. Not silent cries either. Big, loud, angry cries. And it feels so damn good. Of course we would look crazy to an onlooker, but I just couldn't hold this back. And to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way makes me feel better.

"Tell me it's going to be okay," he asks. I can't answer. I really can't, because I don't know. I just continue to cry, because its the only thing that's making sense to me.

"Tell me, Ana! Tell me now!" He roars. I tremble slightly at his tone, never before seeing him this broken.. Fragile.

"It's going to be okay. It really will, Christian." He relaxes slightly, and his sobs lessen. Mine however, keep going strong. I have 12 weeks of denied emotion to make up for. He continues to hold me, as I'm the one being comforted now. He strokes my hair, and mumbles stuff that I'm guessing is supposed to be soothing. I can't hear it over my crying.

We stay like this. For minutes, hours, days, years, I don't know. But we just stay together. As one. All three of us. And it feels right. It feels very, very, right. For the most part, I've calmed down. Just the normal silent crying now. But we don't move. We can't. Right now this feels too perfect-as horrible as the situation is. Maybe everything will be okay... Well as okay as they can be. Christian confirms my thought by doing some unimaginable.. Something I thought he would be too angry to do. He reaches down, and gently rubs my stomach.

"It's going to be okay. It really will, Ana."

* * *

_**R and R, babes! 3 **_

_**P.P.S I read all of your guys reviews, and they're awesome! Keep it up!**_

_**Xoxo**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Hello, lovelies! Haven't seen you in awhile. Gosh, I'm so sorry. I've had major writers block, but alas! I'm back. (: This chapter goes out to SafinaAzeem. Sorry, babe! I told you I was going to update at 4... But didn't :/ anyway, thanks for helping me write this! Also, I love all of you guys and I hope you enjoy!  
Xoxo**_

_**P.S: Ana still lives with Carla and husband number three. She stays with Ray on the weekends and over the summer.**_

* * *

I'm sitting on the couch across from them, waiting for their reactions. I know it will be a shock to them. Little ole' innocent Ana Steele is pregnant. I just hope that they're supportive, and don't think any less of me. I know the disappointment from my mother would eat me alive. She had me very young, and it seems like I'm following in her footsteps. This had to be hard for her, and once again I felt guilty for all the pain I was causing my loved ones.

"Get out!" He yells at me, managing to spit a little. The small bead lands on my upper lip, and I jerk in disgust. His face is red and pinched with anger. He grabs me by my arm, yanking me to a standing position. His grip is forceful and strong, emitting a yelp of hurt from me, and a yelp of surprise from my mother.

"Rick! Stop it, please! Lets talk about this!" My mother yells urgently. She's tugging at his arm, pleading with him to let go. That just makes him grip harder. I shriek in pain, this has got to be the worst pain anyone has ever inflicted on me.

"No, Carla! I'm not letting a whore live in my house! If she wants to slut around, she can go live with her piece of shit father!"

_I wanted to live there anyway, asshole! _

I feel like yelling back at him, but I don't. I know he would hit me if I did. What he says about Ray really stings. He's the closest thing I have to a father, and I love him with all my heart. Why did my mother ever marry this beast of a man? He's practically the devil incarnate.

"Don't say that! Please..!" Mom tugs and tugs and tugs, but to no avail. While she's yelling and pleading, we have slowly made our way to the front door.

"Let go, Carla!"

"No!"

They're soon tussling. My mom groping and yanking at his arm, while Rick awkwardly tries to fend her off with only one arm. I try to pry my arm away from his grip, but he's holding on too tightly. My mom pulls harder, and accidentally scratches his arm, leaving deep red scratches that soon leak out blood.

The room is silent.

I hold my breath, waiting for the bomb to drop. _Oh, mommy, you should of just left him alone. Now look what you've done_. Rick lets go of my arm, and I fall to the floor, clutching at the bruised skin. He stalks closer to my mom, and she backs away. She soon bumps into the kitchen table. Her breathing is erratic and her face pale, eyes glazed over in fear.

"Rick, I'm so sorry-" Her spiel is cut off by a swift slap to her face. The sound resonates off the walls, and echoes in my ears. My mother clutches her face in her hands. He slaps her again, this time harder, causing her to fall to the floor, hitting her head on the way down.

My breath hitches, and fear creeps into the recesses of my body. Oh, please, let her be okay. I can't sit here and let this go on any longer. I've had enough.

"Stop it! Just stop it!" He doesn't obey my plea, and continues to hit her. He crouches down, and soon gets on top of her, slapping, punching, and scratching all the while. The scene in front of me is appalling, and I soon rush over to stop it.

"Rick! Stop! Stop!" I tug, and pull, willing him to get off of her. Nothing is working, as he still continues to bludgeon her. My mother and I's screams fill the house. Hers in pain, and mine in horror. I would do anything to stop this, to relieve her of this torture. I pull with all my might on his biceps, and soon start to pound on him, hoping he will stop.

"Get off me, you little bitch." He snarls and swats me away. He continues the assault on Mom, and I continue my assault on him. I punch his arms, and scratch him, but he seems oblivious to it. My touch could be as light as feathers. It's like he doesn't feel pain. I persevere, knowing he'll have to stop eventually. I just hope it's sooner rather than later. I tug on his hair as a last resort, and I feel a large clump tear off into my hand. Brown strands flutter and pool around us, some falling onto my lap. Rick stops his attack immediately, and lets my mother up. She groans and rolls over, too hurt to move.

His calculating stare turns on my. My heart stops, and I pray that he will just throw me out, and not demonstrate what he's done to Mom on me.

"You're going to wish you wouldn't have done that." He lunges for me, and I desperately try to lurch away from his grip, but he grabs me and twists me around. He straddles my waist and soon lands a forceful punch to my right eye. It burns like hell, and my vision goes black for a few seconds. As soon as I regain it, he lands another punch, taking away my sight momentarily again. The pain is torturous and all consuming. I can't focus on anything but the feeling. I can't even focus on trying to get him to stop. I reach up to protect my face, but he grabs my wrists and raises them above my head.

No! I need to protect my stomach! The baby!

Oh, God, please just let him keep hitting my face, nothing lower. I don't want him to damage, or worse, kill the baby. I hope that somewhere in his black heart he wouldn't be so cruel as to kill my baby.

"Rick.." My mother croaks out. Her voice is scratchy, and yet again she's trying to save me from his ministrations.

"Stop.. You can't.. She's... She's pregnant, Rick, remember? You'll.. You'll heart the ba-baby." She manages to sputter out. Her words were breathless and tinged with exhaustion and pain.

"Good! I should just kill it and end everything now!" A shriek of surprise and outrage erupts from my throat. He did not just say that! I start to panic, and twist my wrists out of his grasp to protect my belly, but I can't for the life of me escape his death grip. He raises his arm above his head, his hand balled in to a fist, and fleetingly brings his fist down. The blow connects to my stomach, and all the air leaves my lungs. The pain is indescribable, both physical and emotional. The physical I can deal with, but the emotional is tearing me apart. My poor, poor baby. Tears sting my eyes and I hope everything is okay.

My mother hollers, and panics, begging him to stop, but he decides to land another blow straight into my stomach. The pain bubbles up inside of me again, and I'm quickly coming apart at the seams. Just when I think it couldn't get any worse, he stops and rises to a standing position.

"There. That should've taken care of everything." He cracks his neck and knuckles, and makes his way upstairs. I listen to his every move, and don't make a sound until I hear the upstairs shower running. I let go a sigh of relief, and know that the worse is over.

And I can't let it happen again.

I don't think as I rise, wincing at the pain. I run-as quickly as I can in my battered state-to my mother. I know that it's not safe for us to be here right now. Hell, it was never safe, but me being pregnant makes it worse. I grab her under the arms, and stand her up. She's barely conscious, so she doesn't ask questions about where we're going or what I'm doing. All I know, is that I need to get to Christian. I could count on him to protect me-us actually. I can't forget about the little bundle of joy growing inside me-and I know his family will be able to do something about this. The Grey's are smart, rich, caring, and accepting-which is exactly what we need right now. We make our way to the front door, and I don't look back as I maneuver us out of the house and into the pitch black of night.

* * *

**_Hit or miss? Blah, I think it was alright, not my best though. Anyway, I'm having a vote on what the next chapter should be(:_**

**_A. Flashback of when little blip was conceived._**

**_B. Christian goes coo-coo bananas when he finds out Rick assaults Ana and the baby._**

**_C. Heart to heart between Grace and Ana_**

**_or D. All of the above(:_**

**_R and R, my munchkins!_**

**_Xoxo_**


	6. Chapter 6

**_Hello, lovelies! As you all might have guessed, option D won! This chapter is infused with a lot of stuff, and took a hella long time to write. I hope you guys love it!_**

**_Xoxo_**

**_P.S: This is the link to the dress that Ana is wearing when she's on vacation with Christian: . _**

* * *

"I don't think Christian should know about this yet," Grace says. Her face is worried and tiresome. Her eyes have dark purple circles around them, and she's dressed in only her bathrobe and slippers. Once again, guilt is racking my body for disturbing her at this time of day. No doubt she just got off of a long days of work, and then she has to deal with me. I wonder when I'll ever stop messing up people's lives.

"Yes, I agree. I don't want to worry him," I reply back to her. Christian and the rest of his family were upstairs sleeping, blissfully unaware of what was taking place down here with Grace and I. I look over at my mom, and she's passed out on the sofa. Her face is bruising, and I can just start to see the faint outlines of blue and purple swirls on her face. My heart hurts every time I think of what we've had to deal with. I'm so glad we're away from Rick, and I hope it stays this way for awhile.

"Right." Grace murmurs. An awkward silence passes between us, and it's been happening to us a lot ever since she's found out. I know she must be... Confused. Or angry. Or shocked... Or maybe all three. I don't know whether we should talk about it, or just let her get accustomed by herself. I don't want to mess up things more than they already are.

"Well, I'll just put my mom to bed. Thank you so much for letting us stay here, Grace," I say once I realize our conversation is done for the night. No one was going to break the silence, so why bother to even stay down here? I make my way over to the couch, and start to wake my mom.

"Ana, wait," Grace interrupts. She's probably trying to tell me not to move her. It might make her injuries worse or something like that.

"Sorry. Do you think it might be better if she sleeps down here?" I ask.

"No.. She can go upstairs, that's fine. It's you I wanted to talk to." Oh, no. My heart rate starts to pick up, and my palms start sweating. Hopefully this isn't the moment where Grace decides to tell me how disappointed she is, and that I'm going to ruin Christians future, etc. etc. I know how some parents of the child's father takes it, and some of them aren't pretty.

"S-sure," I stutter. If she decides to chastise me, it's fine. It is my fault, after all.

"Sit," she commands. I obey, and take a seat across from her. I nervously start raking my hands and fingers. It's a habit of mine I can't seem to break. My other body parts are fidgeting as well as I prepare for Graces wrath.

"Ana, I'm not mad... I'm just... Devastated." Her words knock me off balance, and I unwillingly let out a sigh of relief. She's not mad! Thank God! I open my mouth to reply, because I totally understand why she feels this way, but she's on a roll and not done talking yet.

"I always imagined lots and lots of grandchildren.. Just not this early. Christian is so bright, albeit a little distant, but he has the potential to run the world! To be the master of his own universe. He could go so far and... Now I don't know. The same for you, Ana. You're so intelligent too, but I don't know how everything's going to end up. I'm scared, to be honest. I know I shouldn't be, but I truly am, Ana. I also just feel like a failure. I was supposed to make sure something like this didn't happen.. And I didn't. I failed both of you. I messed up your futures, your dreams. Everything is on standstill now! How are you two going to deal with this? You're so young! So fragile! And imagine what something like this could do to you guys! The anxiety and exhaustion and stress and pain and frustration.. Ana I could go on forever. Raising a child isn't easy and... I'm just scared for you guys. Really, really scared."

Graces admission shocks the crap out of me. She's scared? She, of all people, feels guilty?! None of this is her fault! If we're going to blame people maybe we should blame the one with the child in her stomach! I can't believe Grace feels this way and is carrying the burden of all these emotions. It stuns me, and I realize that Christian and I aren't the only ones suffering. Everyone involved in this is feeling the weight of our actions. The realization depresses me. I gather Grace into my arms and hug her like my life depends on it. Knowing she cares this much about us and our situation makes me feel thankful. She truly is like a second mother to me.

"Grace, I'm so sorry. About all of this. None of it is your fault-trust me. I'm scared too, really, devastatingly scared. I don't know how we're going to do this, and every day I worry about it, but one thing I know is for sure: that everything will be easier if we do it together, and Grace, I would really love if we could all do this together," I admit as we stay gathered in our embrace. Her only response is a small sob, and tears prick my eyes. No! Don't cry, please. Neither of us say anymore, but something has passed between us, and I think the awkwardness between us has passed. Maybe, just maybe, everything won't be as hard as it seems.

* * *

The warm water trickles down my body, soothing my sore and bruised skin. The shower I'm in is immaculate and feels 20x better than mine back home. I'm so grateful for Grace welcoming us in her home without a second thought. She was so understanding about the situation, and no doubt she'll have Carrick and the authorities handle Rick. I'm assuming assaulting two women-one of them with child-doesn't look too good in the court of law.

After lingering in the shower for awhile, letting the water wash away all my tension and strain, I soon grab the container of body wash and spurt a decent amount into the palm of my hand. I feel a little guilty, and hope that whoever owns this won't be too upset that I'm using it. The scent fills my nose-vanilla-and I'm transported back into a place I visited not too long ago.

* * *

**(FLASHBACK)**

_The whole room smelled like vanilla. It was most likely due to Christian pilfering vanilla scented candles from his mothers inventory. He had to make this absolutely perfect for Ana. Not only was the room cast in a warm, dim, yellowey glow, and smelled of vanilla, but there were white rose petals strolled across every surface of the room. It was the epitome of romantic settings. The crash of waves from the nearby ocean, and the view of the shoreline from the large bay window just added icing to the cake. Christian hoped he wasn't overdoing it. The last thing he wanted was for Ana to be overwhelmed, or worse-to laugh at him. Now that he thought about it, the whole ordeal was a little... Feminine. Rose petals? Candles? He was such a loser. He shook his head and knew with no doubt that he had made a huge mistake. He let out a sigh and flopped down onto the bed. He might as well call Ana and tell her to just stay in her hotel room. He had invited her to come with him on one of his annual family vacations. His parents and siblings loved her-mostly because she was the only girl he ever brought home-and they of course wanted her to tag along. The vacation had been a blast so far, and tonight was supposed to be the night that made the vacation unforgettable, but too bad Christian had already messed it up before it started. He slid his cell phone out of his pocket and was ready to dial Ana's number, but was interrupted by a knock on his hotel room door. Uh, oh. There was only one person that could be. Christian sauntered over to the door and opened it to reveal a stunning blue eyed beauty on the other end. She was dressed in a tight fitting, v-necked crochet dress. It came down to her thigh, leaving her legs exposed. Ana's hair feel down in voluptuous waves, with a red rose placed in her hair. She looked flawless, and Christian felt menial in just his jeans and polo shirt._

_"H-hey," he stuttered. She took his breath away, and he was incapable of saying anything else._

_"Hey," she replied softly. She blushed slightly, and stepped into the room. Once she took in her surroundings, she gasped. She couldn't believe he would do all of this for her. It was absolutely beautiful._

_"Do you like it?" He asked softly._

_"No... I love it." Ana turned around and leaped into his arms. She couldn't express how much love and adoration she held for him in this moment. She gazed into his eyes and knew that she made the right decision to wait. If she hadn't, she wouldn't have gotten to give her most treasured possession to him. She stood up on her tiptoes and gently placed her lips upon his. Electricity sparked between both of their bodies, and the kiss quickly deepened. Their hands roamed every surface of each others bodies. Stroking, grazing, massaging every layer of skin they touched. Christian maneuvered them over to the bed, and smoothly laid Ana down. He clambered over her body, careful to put his weight on to his elbows. Never once did they break their kiss. Christians hands moved lower to more intimate areas, leaving heat wherever he touched Ana's body. Ana let out small whimpers of pleasure, and removed Christians shirt. He soon reciprocated, pulling Ana's dress delicately over her head. Their articles of clothing were discarded onto the floor. Once they got started, they didn't stop until each one of their bodies were left bare. The contact, skin to skin, spread fire coursing through their veins. The flames were engulfing them, and they were desperate to put them out-or maybe even to enlarge them. Soon, their hands were not the only thing they used to explore each others bodies. Their mouths and tongue were caressing their bodies in a sensual dance of heat and flames. Their gasps, and whimpers, and moans became the soundtrack to their dance of lust. Each pushing each other over the brink as their moves became more complex. There was only one thing that could truly dose the fire burning within them, and be the finishing move to their dance._

_"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked her. She had told him time and time again that she was, but he just wanted to make sure he wouldn't pressure her into something she didn't want to do. Ana was immobilized, overcome with all of these new sensations, that all she could do was nod. Christian knew that was the green light, and slowly and gently pushed himself inside her. Pain erupted up from the core of her stomach. She knew it would hurt, but it was nothing to prepare her for the actual pain. The fire seemed to grow, in a pleasurable, but also painful way. But soon enough, the discomfort ebbed and flowed until it was no longer there. However, the flames grew to dangerous heights and engulfed her whole body. With each thrust it swallowed more of her, pushing her into the depths of sensation. The gasps, and whimpers, and moans rose and became more ferocious with each movement. Their dance became synchronized, her hips moving to meet every one of his motions. The dance evolved from a controlled and slow two-step, to an animalistic, wild, and ravaging samba. They gripped each other, dug and tore into each others skin as they moved as one. Growls and groans emerging from either ones chest, their soundtrack becoming louder and faster paced, climbing and raising as their dance hit its most anticipated moment. Their dance blurred together, blended, and with one final move, shattered the heat that engulfed them. Effectively putting out the flames._

* * *

I snapped out of my reverie. That had been when my little ray of sunshine was conceived. I reached down and caressed my belly. I sighed and almost regretted what happened. Maybe if we just would've waited longer... I rinsed off my body, quickly washed my hair, and then stepped out of the shower. I was exhausted and just wanted to go to sleep and not have to think for awhile.

I dropped my towel and looked in the mirror. I was starting to show... A lot. It wouldn't be long until everyone found out. I turned sideways, and there was a decent sized bump protruding from my stomach... A very, very, very decent sized bump. I gasped and wondered why I looked so big. I was only three months, I shouldn't look like this. I quickly turned away and got dressed in one of Christians T-shirts. I was a little sour over the fact that I looked so fat. I exited the bathroom, and moved down the hall.

My mother and I were staying in the guest room, but I had different plans. Instead of turning left, I continued going straight and came to the last door in the hall. Christians room. I quietly opened the door and tiptoed across the room. Christian was lying on his side away from me. He looked so peaceful and at ease. I took a moment to marvel him, but then gently lifted up the duvet and crawled in beside him. He stirred, but didn't wake.

He was always tired lately. His dad made him get a job at his law firm as an assistant. I can't imagine Christian taking orders from anyone and I know he must hate it. His mom also makes him volunteer now down at the hospital. They say its "building" his character and work ethic. I see where they're coming from, but can't help but feel like Christians dad is punishing him. He always gives us looks of disappointment whenever we're around.

I decide to stop thinking and just go to sleep. I have a lot of stuff to explain tomorrow, and these few hours of sleep will really benefit me. I wrap my arms around Christians waist, deciding to be the big spoon. I close my eyes and soon I'm enveloped in a deep, dreamless slumber.

* * *

"Ana, what the hell?!" Is the first thing I hear when I open my eyes. Christian is sitting up, looking down at me. Oh, gosh. Is he upset that I'm in his bed? His eyes are molten grey and his face an angry shade of red. He looks like he's about to punch something.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't want to sleep alone." My voice is small and my eyes are cast downward. God, I hate when he's mad at me. I really don't understand why he's mad though, he loves when we sleep together. (The non-sexual way, but he also likes the other way, too.)

"What? I'm not talking about you being in my bed I'm talking about this," he says through his teeth, and yanks up my shirt.-well technically his shirt. There are purplish, blue bruises on my tummy. I gasp, these were not here last night. I lightly touch them, and wince. They're extremely tender. Christian grinds his teeth and spits out,"It's not just your stomach, it's your face too."

I touch my face, and it's also tender. I intake a sharp breath and jerk my hand away. My face hurts worse than my stomach.

"Who the fuck did this to you?" He barks out. His body is shaking with anger and his hands are balled into fists. I've only ever seen him this angry once, and it was when Jack tried to kiss me in 8th grade. _Please, not now!_ I silently beg. I know if I tell him, Christian will be out the door in five seconds sprinting to my house ready to kill Rick. That's really something I want to avoid right now.

"Christian calm down-"

"Calm down? How the hell do you expect me to calm down?! You look like you've been put through a wood chipper!" He exclaims. I roll my eyes. That has to be an exaggeration. He jumps out of bed and starts pacing across his room. His hand is madly running through his hair, and he's breathing deeply like he's just run a marathon.

"I can explain." I manage to choke out. I'm panicking, wondering how I'm going to avoid telling him what happened.

"Then explain!"

"I.. I-I." I stutter out. I really don't know what to say. I could lie, but that wouldn't help anything. I just have to be completely honest. "Rick did it." I finally say. There, it's done. I told him. I barely get the words out before Christian is out the door and making his way down the hall.

"Christian!" I call after him. I chase him down the hall, desperately trying to catch up. His legs are freakishly long, and I know I'll never be able to.

"Christian, stop!" I call once again. He's running down the stairs, and it won't be long now until he's out the door. I run down the stairs, following his every move. When he reaches the bottom, he's stopped by Grace. Oh, thank God! Grace truly is an angel.

"Get out of my way, Mom!" He spits out through clenched teeth. His self control is barely intact. I reach the bottom of the steps too, and stand beside Christian. I look at him, and am startled by what I see. His eyes are crazed, glazed over with barely controlled rage. His hair is in disarray from him running his hands through it, and his face is practically puce.

"Do not use that tone with me, Christian! What's wrong with you?" Grace says indignantly.

"Did you see what he did to her?!" Christian yells. Jeez could he please use his inside voice? I'm going to have a headache if he keeps screaming in my ear. It's a wonder he hasn't woken the whole house.

"Yes, I know. It's horrible, but what are you planning to do?" She asks, her voice now understanding and soothing. She knows how protective he is.

"I'm going to kill him, that's what!" He barks out. He goes to push past her, but Grace holds him back.

"No, Christian, we're already dealing with it. Now sit down!" I expect him to argue with her some more, but he does as she says. He sits in one of the love seats, and puts his head in hands. I go sit next to him and rub soothing circles on his back. No doubt he's blaming himself somehow. That's typical Christian. I look at Grace, and give her a pleading look. Hopefully she'll know that we need some time alone. Thankfully she nods her head and gives us some space.

"I just can't stop thinking about him hurting you guys. I want to beat the shit out of him, Ana! You don't even understand!" Oh, my overprotective Christian. That's one of my favorite and least favorite thing about him. I sigh, and continue to rub his back.

"No, I do understand, Christian. I know how protective you get. But really, Mom and I are fine. Don't worry about us, okay?" I plant a kiss on his cheek and hope this is enough to appease him.

"Damnit. You're mom got hurt too?" He groans and puts his head back in his hands.

"Well, yeah. I thought you said you can't stop thinking about him hurting us." Christian gives me a look that says "are you stupid?"

"Ana I was talking about you and the baby. Have you seen your stomach?" Oh my God! I completely forgot about the baby until now.

_And the worst mother of the year award goes to: Anastasia Steele!_

"Oh, gosh! We have to check. I didn't even think..." I trail off and jump up to get Grace. I have no idea where she is, but I have to find her. The first place I check is the kitchen, and it seems that I'm getting lucky today because she's in there making a cup of coffee.

"Grace.. I need you to check my stomach." She looks at me quizzically and asks why. I lift up my shirt and Grace gasps. She looks horrified, and her coffee mug almost falls from her grasp. She shuts off the coffee machine and grabs a hold of my hand.

"Come on. I have some equipment in my study." She pulls me out the kitchen, and I see Christian rise from the love seat to come follow us. Grace leads us downstairs and makes a couple of turns. Their house is huge. Soon, we arrive in her study. It's more like an examination room than a study. There's practically everything that you would find in a doctors office in here.

"Okay, Ana. Go ahead and sit up on the exam table, please." Grace washes her hands, puts on her gloves, and grabs her coat off of the door. She's in full doctor mode now. I do as she says, and lie back. Once again the feelings of nervousness and anxiety are racking my body. If something's wrong with the baby.. I'll never forgive myself. It's my job to protect it, and I can't fail. I start my bad habit of raking my hands, and am surprised to feel Christian grab hold of one. He interlocks or fingers, and he looks just as nervous as me.

"Alright, I'm going to look at the baby. I have a home ultrasound machine, and it's best to see if there's any damage. Due to the bruises, this might hurt a little bit, Ana. And also the gel might be a little cold." Grace looks calm and in total control. I now know why she's one of the top paid doctors in Seattle. She squirts the gel on my tummy, and even though I know it will be cold, I still grimace. Christian squeezes my hand.

"Here's the baby. It seems... Oh my God." Graces face turns deathly pale, and my heart rate spikes. Oh, no. Please don't say what I think you're going to say. My heart is pounding and my breathing is harsh.

"What? What's wrong?" Christian sputters out. While I am internally panicking, Christian is very open with his concern. His face is contorted with worry.

"I should've never gotten Leila to do the ultrasound. I should've done it myself.." Grace is really scaring me now. I wish she would tell me what's going on!

"Grace, please tell us what's going on. Is there something wrong with the baby?" My voice sounds harsh and panicky, which is exactly how I'm feeling right now.

"Nothing's wrong. This is actually good news.. Kind of. Ana, you're not just carrying one child. You have twins."

I'm sorry, did I hear her correctly? My heart stops and the world goes black.

* * *

**_1. It's possible to mistake 2 babies for just 1-look it up._**

**_2. How was the vacation scene? That was my first lemon/lime attempt._**

**_3. Any ideas for the next chapter? _**

**_4. Thanks so much for your guys continuous support and feedback. It really means a lot and I love you guys! _**

**_R and R!3_**

**_Xoxo_**


	7. Chapter 7

**_Hey, guys. Sorry for the late update. I had a hard time writing in Christians POV. As you all know, he is one confusing man. So, here's the next chapter. Enjoy!_**

* * *

I just want to go to sleep and have this day be over. My brain is fried-I literally can't think anymore. I'm so exhausted its not even funny. My back is aching, my feet are throbbing, my head hurts, and I'm dog tired. Today could very well be one of the worst days I've ever had. All day long I've been running up and down the hospital, cleaning up old people's shit, changing sheets and bedpans, and listening to the moaning and groaning of suffering people. I don't know how people can stand hospitals-they're depressing as hell. Not to mention disgusting.

Oh, and volunteering wasn't even the worst part of the day. In all honesty, it was the easiest. Having to deal with that son of a bitch Todd almost made me commit suicide. He's a condescending asshole. He orders me around and expects me to be at his beck and call every second. I know he's being a douche on purpose. He knows that I hate listening to people, and he bosses me around just to get a rise out of me. Every time he makes me do something, he always has this sadistic little grin on his face, like he's pleased that he's pissing me off. I swear, one day I'm gonna get him back.

Dealing with Todd was less than pleasurable, but the worst part of the day was in the morning. I woke up to see Ana in my bed, covered in bruises. I can't describe how angry I felt. I wanted to find out who did this to her, and rip their heads off. I have a temper, but I've never felt rage like that. She's my girl, and nobody has the right to put their hands on her. Nobody has the right to hurt her either. She looked so battered, it physically hurt me to look at her. I was supposed to be the one protecting her, right? Well I did a horrible fucking job. I felt like a complete failure when I saw her like that. Where was I when she was getting beat? I'm supposed to always be there so she doesn't get hurt, and look at what happened. I just feel like shit. And the worst part is that I have another little person to look after... Well persons now.

Twins.

Who would've guessed? I inwardly sighed. I was supposed to protect them also, and I failed at that too. They're not even out the womb yet and I'm already being a shitty father. Just imagine when they're actually living outside of Ana. They're going to be so... Fragile. And little. And weak. I don't know how I'm going to do this. I can hardly take care of myself, what am I going to do when I have three people to look after? I'm not father material. I'm so messed up in the head, I know I'm just going to rub my fucked-upness off on them. That's what I'm most worried about-damaging them. The last thing I wanna do is be like my birth mother. What if I neglect them? Or do something else stupid that would hurt them? I shake my head. This is so stressful, and right now I don't think my brain can deal with it.

Finally, I'm back at the house. All the lights are off, and it looks like everyone's asleep. Of course they should be, it's pretty late. My shift ended hours ago, but I just wanted some alone time. I really don't feel like looking at Ana, or the rest of my family for that matter. It's like I can just see the disappointment written all over their face. Yeah, I know. Christian Grey has fucked up again. Royally this time. I don't know when I'll stop making mistakes. I desperately want my parents to be proud of me, but I never can. I just always screw up. I don't even know why they bother with me anymore. Sometimes, I wonder if they regret adopting me.

I really don't want to step inside that house. I know no ones going to see me or talk to me, but there definitely will be someone in my bed waiting for me. I don't want to have to face her. I love her to death, but right now I just can't. I know I won't be able to look at her and see those bruises outlining her face without going crazy. I want to take every last one of them away, but I can't, and it's driving me insane. Why the hell would he do this to her? She's perfect-and pregnant! Ana is hard enough to want to hurt, but seriously who the hell would assault a pregnant woman? That's disgust at its purest form.

The bruises are bad enough, but I know we'll have to talk soon. It's inevitable. We just found out we're having twins today. We don't know what we're doing, and now we find out we'll have two lives to take care of. How the hell are we going to deal with that? We don't have any sort of plan. We're fumbling around in the dark. Grasping for straws. And I really don't feel like talking about how our futures are doomed.

I decide to stop stalling, and I make my way inside the house. I don't turn on any lights-I don't want to wake anyone. I take my jacket and shoes off at the door, and I start climbing the stairs. My heart is sinking with each step I take. My day has already been stressful enough, and now I have to deal with more problems. I might as well get used to it, it's only gonna get harder from here on out.

I silently reach the top of the stairs, and continue on down the hall. The house is eerily quiet. Any other day it would be comforting to me, but right now I don't think anything could calm the storm going on inside my head. I make my way to my room. The lights click on. Shit. She knows I'm out here.

I open the door quietly, and I'm unfortunately rewarded with a disheveled and angry looking Ana. She's sitting up in bed, her arms crossed tightly.

"Where were you?" She says to me. Her voice is eerily calm, giving way to her real emotions. She's pissed. Very, very pissed. Her eyes bore into mine, and hers are a cold shade of blue.

"Out." I reply. I really don't want to explain it right now.

"Out? What the hell kind of answer is that? You left me here all alone while I just got the biggest news of my life!" Her voice is high pitched, dripping with anger. She's mad. Unbelievably mad and of course she has a right to be. I shouldn't have just gone, but this isn't all about her! Doesn't she know that it was the biggest news of my life too? This is not easy at all for me! Yeah, I might not be the one carrying two kids, but does that really mean that my life is just a walk in the park? My life is different now too. I want to just yell at her and tell her all I'm feeling...

But I don't.

Instead, I opt for, "I'm sorry." What the hell difference does it make anyway? I'm going to mess everything up already, so I might as well start now. I can't put what I'm feeling in to words. I just... I don't like... Talking about emotions. Or feelings. It's just not my thing.

"What a pathetic fucking apology, Christian. I don't care you're sorry, I want to know why you left. Don't you care at all?" If I didn't care at all do you really think I would be staying by your side? I could've just abandoned you like most assholes do!

But I don't say that either.

"Yes," I answer.

"Can you talk to me instead of being monosyllabic? How are we going to make a plan about our future if you don't even want to put in any effort?" Right. I'm not putting any effort in at all. Because working, volunteering, going to school, getting good grades, reading pregnancy pamphlets and saving money isn't putting in any effort.

Right.

"Can we not talk now?" I've had a shitty day, and right now she's making me feel worse. I feel like a screw-up, which I know I am already, but Ana is the one person who sees everything _but_ my faults. Now it's like she's realizing how much of a loser I really am. She also can't see how much this is taking its toll on me. I want her to understand, but I'm not really good with expressing myself. It's easier to just keep it in.

"Is this how it's going to be for the next 6 months? Hell, is this how it's going to be forever?! Just please talk to me." She's pleading with me and now I just feel worse. Gosh, I keep hurting her when I'm supposed to be protecting her from getting hurt. Her eyes are teary, like the dam is going to burst any second. Oh, god not now. Please, my day has been hard enough.

"Are you mad at me? I'm sorry, I know this is my fault. I messed everything up, Christian. Your life. My life. Everything is going to be so hard now! Gosh, I'm so, so sorry. Please just don't be mad at me. I never wanted this to happen. I'm sorry!"

She's rambling fiercely, with tears streaming down her face. Hopefully these are just her hormones and she doesn't really feel like this. It's not just her fault. It's mine too. She has no reason to feel like this, and it hurts me to think that she does. I can't believe that she would think something like that. It absolutely baffles my mind, and I feel like an asshole for leaving her. We're both struggling, and what did I do? I just up and left her.

I make my way towards the bed and sat facing her. I take her hands and look dead in to her eyes. Damn this is going to kill me. I hate expressing any type of... Sensitization. It physically hurts me to have to talk about every fucked up thing I'm feeling.. But this is Ana. I would do worse things for her.

"It's not your fault, Ana. Please don't think that. And I'm not angry at you.. Not at all. I'm just.. Stressed. Confused. Scared. Look, I'm really trying here. Please believe that. I want us to have the perfect life. I want us to be rich and happy. I don't want us to have to struggle. I don't want you to have to work. I want to protect you. I want a nice job, a dog, 2.5 kids, and to live in a big house with a white picket fence. I just.. I just don't want to fuck anything up, ok? I'm really, really, really trying to deal with this. And it's not easy for me."

My insides were burning with embarrassment. I can't believe I just said all of that. Gosh, I'm gonna sound like such an idiot. I really don't know why she wastes her time with me.

I'm staring intently at Ana, waiting for her reaction. Her face is stoic, giving nothing away. It's killing me to not know what she's thinking. Her whole body seems to have frozen, as if she's digesting everything that I've just said. I don't blame her. Hell, I don't even understand some of what I just said, but it's how I'm feeling. I just want her to understand, and hopefully not think I'm and idiot. So I keep looking, waiting for her to say something.

I wait.

And wait.

And wait.

And wait.

"I think we have the 2.5 kids thing down," is all she says. Her reply shocks me.. But then I burst out laughing. So she doesn't think I'm an idiot. Leave it to Ana to make a joke at the most random time. I open my mouth to reply back, but she cuts me off.

"Christian, I know how you feel. I'm feeling pretty much the same. I'm sorry I haven't noticed that you've been feeling this way. I just.. It doesn't matter. All I want is for us to just talk about what we're going to do. We don't really have a plan, and that's what we really need right now. Lets just take this one step at a time, okay?"

See, my girl always knows what to say and do. I'm a wreck without her, and slightly less of a wreck with her. I've been going crazy over not talking about any of this, but what we really need to do is to talk. Because if we don't, this whole thing is doomed. I really don't know how I couldn't see that. I shake my head. God, I really am an idiot.

"Okay. One step at a time. That's something I can do."

Ana leans in to kiss me, and her lips are soft and warm. They always are after she's been crying. I intake her scent, and I believe it's the best smell in the world. I love this woman, and I realize that right here, right now is where I belong. Right by her side. It's my home, and it was stupid of me to run away.

Ana reaches over to turn off the bedside light, and then scotches down into bed. No doubt she's exhausted. I soon do the same, hopping in to bed with day clothes on. It doesn't matter to me what I'm wearing. I'm exhausted, and all I want to do is be right beside her.

I delicately wrap my arm around her waist, bringing her closer to me. In this moment this feels right.

"Ana?" I say.

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

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**_Did you like it? I tried to add some fluff at the end there. Anywho, R and R. What do you want to see next chapter? Thanks for reading. Love you guys._**

**_Xoxo_**


	8. Chapter 8

**_Hello, lovelies! Wow. I can't believe how fast I got this chapter up. I think it's one of the fastest updates that I've done. I hope you guys are enjoying the story so far. But woah, what happened last chapter? Did you guys crawl into a dark pit? Lol there were very little reviews. You guys know how much I love and appreciate your feedback. Don't be afraid to express what you think about the story!_**

**_Xoxo_**

* * *

I am awoken from my steamy dream that involved strawberries, whipped cream, and Christian by the discordant sound of my alarm clock. Well, technically Christians alarm clock. The sound is jarring and loud, and I desperately fumble around in order to silence it. After groping blindly for awhile, I soon find the clock and press the "off" button.

Damn.

It's Monday.

I have to suffer through another day of hell. I could hardly stand the people and atmosphere while I wasn't pregnant, but now that I am, my hormones are making school even less bearable than before. Every single thing seems to piss me off nowadays. Everything also seems to offend me. Never in my life have I cried so much, it seems like everyday I'm either crying or extremely angry. Most of my intense emotions are directed towards Christian. I can't love him more for being able to deal with me. I have to give him props, I've been a real pain lately.

I groan and open my eyes. The sun isn't out, leaving the sky grey and bleak. The September weather is surprisingly windy and crisp, much more so than it was last year. I love winter, and it seems like its coming early this year. I sigh. I would've loved for my babies to have been born during winter, but their going to be spring babies. Hopefully they'll be as warm and calm as spring itself.

I feel extremely exhausted. Last night was killer. I stayed up waiting for Christian, and he hadn't come home until it was really late. And it didn't help that we had a semi-fight, and I ended up crying. Stress wasn't good for me or the babies. It especially wants good for my body since I felt like I had been put through a towel ringer. Honestly, I was not up to dealing with bitchy girls and overly strict teachers. Apparently neither was Christian since he hadn't made a move to get up. I don't even think the alarm disturbed his rest whatsoever.

I know we have to get up. School is important, even more so for us. We can't afford to miss any days. I gently shake Christian, trying to coax him into waking up.

"Christian," I whisper. I know he's exhausted too. Yesterday must've been even worse for him than it was for me. After I got the shocking news that we were having twins, I had the privilege of staying home all day and wallowing in my shock and self-pity. Christian, however, had to go to work and volunteer. I know how much he hates it. But it's good for us, him working as an assistant is already allowing us to save up some money for our future. It doesn't pay much, but every penny counts. Especially in our case.

"Christian," I whisper a little louder. I give him a harder shake, and he stirs but doesn't wake. He's out like a light. He's usually such a light sleeper, the faintest of noise could wake him, but now he's in a deep sleep. The deepest I've ever seen him in. I feel bad. Inadequate. I'm doing absolutely nothing and contributing absolutely nothing to help us. The only thing I've been doing is eating all of the Greys' food and sitting on my ass all day. Gosh, I need to start doing something or I'm going to rip my hair out.

"Christian," I repeat once more. Except this time my voice is at a regular pitch, and I continue to shake him until he wakes up. His eyes snap open and he's immediately aware. His eyes dart around the room, on alert and looking for some unknown danger. I roll my eyes.

"What?! Are you okay?" He asks. His voice is still groggy from just having woken up, but also has an undertone of concern. Why must he always think that something dangerous is happening to me?

"Yes. We just have to wake up for school," I reply. I feel a little bit better, my exhaustion slowly ebbing away. Christian groans and shuts his eyes.

"Do we have to? I don't think one missed day will affect us.."

"Um, yes it will. We can't afford to miss anything. Come on, get up," I cajole. My voice sounds convincing, but on the inside I want to succumb to his suggestion and play hookey. I think we've dealt with enough stressful shit over the past two weeks. Even though my body is screaming "yes!" My head is screaming "No!" And I decide to follow my mind. Giving in to your bodies wishes can sometimes land you in a tough situation. Trust me, I would know.

I conclude to follow my advice, and I roll out of bed. Ugh, I feel even worse standing up. I ignore it and push through the discomfort, making my way towards the bathroom.

"Where are you going?" He asks.

"To the bathroom. I'm going to take a shower. Unlike you, I'm actually going to attempt to get an education," I tease. My voice is light and joking, and hopefully it'll lighten both of our moods.

"Shower, eh? Got room for one more?" He gives me a salacious grin, and I'm out the door making my way down the hall with an eager Christian in tow. We might be a little late this morning.

* * *

"Is it noticeable?" I ask Christian. We're still inside the car, parked in front of the school. I'm wearing one of Christians shirts, and a pair of grey leggings and black flats. Yes, I know, not very fashionable. But what the hell? I have two people living inside me, I definitely need to start dressing for comfort.

"Eh.. A little," He acquiesces. I sigh. Really? I can't believe that even though I'm wearing a ridiculously baggy shirt my stomach is still noticeable. I look down, and there it is; a very pronounced bump protruding from my stomach. Gosh, how am I going to hide this?

"It's fine. I'll just tell people that I'm... Bloated." It wasn't a complete lie, and it was enough to satisfy Christian. We made our way out of the car, and soon were trekking towards the front entrance. Here we are. The gateway to hell.

* * *

"Pass it to me!" I hear one of the many students in the gym say. Today, we're currently playing volleyball. Great.

"Coach Carr, I can't play," I murmur. The other girls have already dressed in their uniforms and are passing the ball back and forth. Coach Carr doesn't even seem to notice that I'm standing right in front of him. He continues to look at his paperwork.

"Coach Carr?" I ask. Is he deaf or some shit? He continues to flip through all of the papers. He looks up at me momentarily, sighs, then looks back down. Wow. Okay, someone has a problem with me.

"I hear you, Ana. However, I don't want to hear the lame excuses you'll spew at me." My insides flare, and I know it's just my hormones. I'm getting angry, and I need to calm down before I make a scene.

"Sir, please. I have a very valid excuse. I really can't partake in gym for the rest of the quarter," I reply as calmly as I can. I had to count to ten so I didn't blow up at him. How the hell would he know that I had a lame excuse? He didn't even let me explain.

"Right. Ms. Steele, I don't have time for this. Change into your uniform and get out on the floor." Firstly, my uniform doesn't fit anymore. Secondly, I don't have time for his bullshit.

"As much as you like to think that I don't have a good enough excuse, I do. Coach Carr, I'm pregnant. I really don't think it's safe for me to play." My face is burning with embarrassment and shame. I almost burst in to tears as he looks at me with disappointment and disgust. I just want to shrink in to a hole for nine months so I won't have to deal with the same type of looks from all of my teachers and classmates.

"Jesus Christ, do you young girls have no respect for yourselves these days? Ms. Steele, please leave my office. I don't have time to deal with promiscuous young ladies like you," Coach says in a hostile tone. He scowls, and turns away from me. I feel absolutely disgusted with myself. I'm also extremely fucking pissed at him. Who the hell is he to judge me?! He doesn't know me! And he's a fucking gym teacher, if he's going to be ashamed of anyone it should be himself. As much as I try to tell myself to not let him affect me, it doesn't stop the tears from falling down my face. What the hell did I get myself into? Gosh, right now I really wish that night we were on vacation never happened. It wasn't worth any of this.

I storm out of the room, my insides twisting with a thousand different emotions. How can someone be so cruel? I'm not proud of myself either, but I can't believe he was so cold to me. It makes me so... Angry. At him. At myself. At Christian. Hell, at the world.

I run past all of the girls in my gym class, hopeful that they won't notice the tears streaming down my face. I don't know where I'm going, all I know is that I need to get out of here. I decide to go back to the locker room so I can get my stuff and leave. I need to get some air. Considering I'm not participating in gym, I might as well reward myself with a free period.

The locker room is deathly silent. It's actually sort of eerie. The lights are off, and the grey and bleak sky offers little light to illuminate the room. I take a deep breath, pushing down the fear that's crawling its way up my chest. Am I really getting scared? I'm in a school for Christ's sake. I don't think there will be any axe wielding murderers around here.

I don't even make a move to turn on the lights, I just make my way over to my locker and quickly pull out my belongings. My heart has sped up, and all I want to do is get out of this freaky room. I make my way to turn around, and my heart almost stops when I collide with another body.

I let out a small yelp, surprised that someone else is in here. I didn't notice another person, and didn't hear someone come in either. I focus my eyes on the face, and once again I'm thrown for a loop. This isn't just any 'ole person, this is Elena Lincoln. She's hated me since sixth grade, and I've never figured out why. She's just always had it out for me, doing everything in her power to make my life miserable.

I exhale, and mentally prepare myself for the verbal abuse she's going to unleash on me.

"Elena, it's always wonderful to see you. What can I help you with?" I ask sarcastically. I just want this bitch to leave me alone. My day has been bad enough.

"Hmm, little miss innocent Ana has seemingly gotten herself in a very.. Big and sticky situation." She replies in a sickeningly sweet voice. My heart starts to speed up again. Damn, what does she know?

"I don't know what you're talking about," I say. I decide to play dumb. Hopefully, she's just bluffing and really doesn't know anything.

"You don't know? Ha, well I guess you'll find out in about nine months... Hmm, maybe a little less for you. You're already starting to show already. You can say goodbye to your size 1 days, my dear," she says in a snarky tone. She smiles at my shocked and fearful face, seemingly pleased that she has once again succeeded in ruining my life. My heart is pounding hard and fast, my palms become extremely sweaty and I stop breathing.

Oh, no.

She knows.

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**_Did you like this chapter? What should happen between Elena and Ana? Should Christian get involved? R and R! _**

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	9. Chapter 9

_**Hey, guys! I'm so sorry it's been so long! It's just I started a new story and I wanted to get that one up and running before I returned to this one-but I swear I'm not going to give up on this one! I really missed you guys and I just wanted to say thank you for sticking with me for so long. I appreciate it so much! I hope you all enjoy this chapter and that it was worth the wait!**_

_**XOXO**_

* * *

Oh, gosh this is the last thing I need right now. I'm already stressed, and now my worst enemy knows something that I didn't want anyone else to know? Great. Just wonderful. As I look down at her, I can only imagine what she's got planned. It's probably something heinous that will make my life miserable. It's what she's been doing since I've known her.

Her face looks smug and mischeiveous, and it's most likely the exact opposite of what I look like right now. I probably look panicked and hesistant, which is exactly how I feel. If she tells people about this, I know my life is over. People will be judging me, probably worse than Coach Carr has. Kids are cruel, and I'll just be the new pariah that they can all pick on. This is exactly what Elena wants, her life goal has been trying to make me an outcast.

"Okay.. What do you want?" I ask.

If she wants to blackmail me, then what the hell? Go ahead. I've had worse things done. If she'll just tell me what I can do in order to keep her quiet, I'll do it.

"I don't want anything. I've already got it," she replies malignly.

What the hell is she talking about? Honestly, I really think this girl is unstable.

"I have to pee and my feet are hurting, so please just tell me what evil plan you've concocted so I can get the hell out of this locker room," I spit out impatiently.

My hormones are kicking in with a vengenance, and today has already been shitty; she's just making it worse. I'm so emotionally drained, I just want to get out of here and go home. I don't care that I'll be missing classes or I'll have to make up work-I just want a personal day. Then, when I feel better tomorrow, I can come back and conquer the world. But as of now, I'm content with going home and lying down with a big fat jar of pickles. Mmm, that sounds really good right now. I could also put some whipped cream on top and add a dash of chocolate sprinkles. My stomach growls in response and my mouth starts to water.

_Stop thinking about food you, fatty! Your social life is about to end!_

I snap out of my food induced stupor, and focus about what's happening in the present. I need to get through this little predicament with Elena so I can just get the hell out of here. I seriously doubt that I can stop whatever she's going to do. She's a bitch-it's as simple as that. She'll do anything just to be mean.

"I'm going to tell everyone. And do you know what that means? Your life will be over. You'll be the school slut and no one will want to be around you. Not even the little pathetic people you call your friends," she says sweetly.

She gives me a false smile, laced with venom. I almost have the urge to laugh at her. I already knew that this was going to happen. I'm having twins-I had like two weeks before I was going to be so big I couldn't hide it. A 105 lb girl just doesn't gain 15 lbs out of nowhere. This is my punishment for my actions-I'll get extremelly fat, I'll be slut-shamed, out casted and ridiculed, and then, to top it all off, I'll pretty much go nowhere in life.

Wonderful.

I almost have the urge to cry. I hate this. All of it! I don't want to get fat or be laughed at or deal with two crying babies or not be able to focus at school. It fucking sucks! And I hate all of this. Tears sting my eyes and I just want to get out of here. Like now.

"Whatever, Elena. I don't give a fuck. Just get out my way!" I bark out before pushing her aside and storming out of the room.

I don't even know why she hates me. I didn't do anything to her! Ever! But she decides to target me for some unknown reason. Gosh, I could hit her right now. I need to go to school-we both do-if we're going to make something of our lives, and now it's going to be so hard for me. For us. If I hated school before, It's definitely not going to be a walk in the park now.

I rush out the door, tears streaming down my face. They're hot and fast, flowing too quickly for me to wipe them away. As soon as I wipe some off, more just come along. I know I must look like a complete mess, but on the inside I feel like a complete mess. We screwed up big time. We really, really screwed up.

I wipe off my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt, momentarily blinding me. In a split second I'm crashing into a hard chest, falling backwards. Before I can reach the ground, I feel familiar warm arms encasing my body.

Christian.

Knowing he's right here makes me cry harder. I can't believe I did this to him. I know it's not all my fault-he definitely had a part in making these babies-but my body is wracked with guilt everytime I look at him and his family. They're perfect, but now everythings ruined because of me. And what kills me the most, is that Christian is still with me. How can he look at me, still love me, knowing that I've ruined his life and dreams. We're completely fucked now, and he still cares about me.

I maneuver out of his arms, not wanting his comfort and sympathy. I don't deserve it. He trys to pull me back, but I swiftly dodge his advance.

"Ana, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" He questions, his voice concerned.

He's looking at me, his brow furrowed and his face contorted in confusion.

"Is it the babies? Do you feel pain? I can take you to the hospital-"

"Christian I'm fine," I interrupt.

His guesses are way off, but right now I just don't want to get in to it. I kind of just want to be left alone.

"You don't look fine. Did someone touch you?" He asks, his voice laced with trepidation and anger.

Typical Christian, always being protective and suspicious. I love him for it, but really, not everyone in the world is out to get me. I shake my head and start to walk, trying to distance myself from anyone and everyone-including Christian.

"Wait! Ana!" He calls after me.

In a split second he's caught up to me, pulling on my arm, forcing me to stop. I stop walking and turn to face him.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing-I... I just want to go home, okay? This day has been shitty and I can't deal with it right now," I whisper, my voice quiet and defeated.

"Hey, hey, hey," he says soothingly,"you can tell me what's wrong, Ana. Just talk to me. No more secrets right?"

"Alright, fine. You wanna know? Coach Carr thinks I'm an irresponsible, slut, Elena knows about the twins and is going to use that information to make my life more of a living hell than it already is, and the icing to the cake: I feel like a guilty piece of shit! You know why? I ruined you and your families life, and basically our lives are screwed! Where are we going to go from here, Christian?! Huh? Where?! Nowhere because I fucked everything up! Thats why," I roar out, no longer holding anything back.

My voice is hoarse from all of the yelling and I'm so thankful the hallway is deserted. No one needs to see this. Tears are once again rolling down my face, and this time I don't try to get rid of them. I just let them fall freely.

Christian is looking at me in horror, his face frozen; and for once he's speechless. I don't stick around long enough for him to find something to say to me-I just run away from him. Run away from this forsaken place called school. Run away from all of my problems.

_You can't run away from all of them, Ana. Your biggest problem is inside of you._

I race out of the front doors, stepping into the chilly air. I stop to catch my breath and I sink down onto the hard cement. Oh, God what did I get myself into?

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_**Hey, y'all! Did you like it? I hope you did and don't be afraid to review and give me some suggestions! It really makes me happy!(:**_

_**XOXO**_


	10. Chapter 10

I hate rain. All it does is mess up your day. Sure, it's benefical, but that's the only reason I tolerate it. It messes up your hair, soaks your clothes-which makes it cling to your skin in the most _annoying _way, and it clouds your vision. All of those things were simutaneously happening to me _right now._

So, little 'ole me, gets agitated, even more so because of my hormones, and ditches school in a fit of anger. Then it starts raining like no tomorrow. That's a pretty accurate description of my situation right now. I'm pissed off. Extremely so. The Bitch Troll known as Elena Lincoln, is going to ruin my life in about... 10 seconds. It's probably already going around school. She's such a... bitch. Ha, that word doesn't even describe how horrible she is. Is her life so pathetic that she has to mess up mine? I still don't even know why she hates me. It probably has something to do with Christian-she practically drops her panties every time she sees him. But whatever, If this is how it's going to be, then fine. I'll just drop out. It's not like my life was going anywhere anyway. I guess I'll just be another statistic. A pregnant, teenage drop-out. How many of those are in America? Hundreds? _Thousands? _Well, they can add one more to the list.

My feet are pounding against the hard concrete, my thoughts a jumbled mess. The rain is pouring down my face, and right now more than anything, I wish Christian's sweater had a hoodie. Ha! That's the thing I want? How about I wish to not be pregnant. My bitter thought causes my heart to ping. What kind of horrible mother wishes that her kid didn't exsist? Well, _kids _in my case. Twins. Double the trouble, and double the fun! I don't know whether to jump for joy, or to curl into a ball and cry. I think it's the latter that will win. The first time we have sex, I somehow manage to wind up pregnant. Does Christian have super sperm or something? I angrily kick some peebles with my shoe, the small rocks rolling into the grass. I really shouldn't be angry-it's all our fault. Who caused this? We did, by being irresponisble. There's nobody else to blame except ourselves. The realization of my enourmous stupidity causes me to become even angrier. I kick some more pebbles, watching them roll away from me. I don't know if my horrible mood is coming from my hormones, or if the situation really is as bad as it seems.

I think the situation is as bad as it seems.

In the distance I hear a car approaching. Well, isn't that just great? Someone is perfectly comfortable, warm and toasty inside the safety of their car. And me? I'm out here  
freezing my ass off, with my thoughts eating away at me. I shouldn't be so selfish, though. I should be thinking of Christian. He's going to be so angry. Everyone's going to know about the babies, and he's still stuck in that godforsaken place. Actually... who the hell am I kidding? If Christian hears one bad thing said, he'll probably just kick the shit out of them.

The thought brings me comfort.

I notice that the car I heard has slowed down, the red vehicle driving along to the pace of my walking. I suddenly feel very creeped out. I turn right to look at the driver-most likely to tell them to piss off-but the words are stuck in my throat. I feel as if a cold bucket of water has been poured down my spine, bile rising in my throat. What the hell is _he _doing here?

"What do you want?" I demand, but don't sound nearly as strong as I wanted to, considering my voice cracked at the end of my sentence.

Rick's sinister face stares back at me from the driver's side window. I mentally try to calm myself down. He won't try anything in broad daylight... But I also thought that he wouldn't assault a pregnant woman. Look how wrong I was about that.

"I want to talk to you," he rasps out. His face is neutral, but his eyes speak volumes. He's angry.

"Well, I don't want to talk to you," I bark out. "How the hell did you even find me?"

"You watch your language with me, missy!" He yells at me.

I shake my head at him. Who does this bastard think he is? He's most definitely not my father! I have one dad, and I'll only ever have one.

"I don't have to listen to you! Just fuck off! I have nothing to say to you, Rick! You beat the shit out of me and my mother and you expect me to talk to you? How about not," I scream.

I walk away from him, the rain beating down my back with every step I take. I pray to God that he doesn't follow me, but of course my prayers do nothing. The bastard is belligerent. Rick quickly catches up with me, his car completely forgotten and abandoned. He grips my arm, his grasp forceful and rough. He spins me around, fear starting to settle in the pit of my stomach.

The stomach that was holding my children.

"Let go of me, Rick!" I try to sound forceful, but my voice is full of fear.

"Why can't you just do what you're told, huh?" He says, as he shakes my back and forth.

He's standing so close to me I can feel his breath on my face, spit from his mouth occasionally landing on my face from his screams of anger. I'm paralyzed, completely unsure of what to do. I have no idea what this psycho plans on doing with me, but I know that I can't provoke him any further. In the midst of all this commotion, I manage to notice how we're still standing in the rain. I also notice how Rick kind of resembles a dobberman pinscher.

"I.. I'm sorry," I whisper out, wanting to say anything that will appease him.

"Well it's too damn late to be sorry! Look what you did, you little bitch! You ruined our lives!"

"Who's life?" I ask. How the hell did I ruin his life? He's the one that forced me to leave my own home. If anyone's to blame, it's him!

"You took her away! Now they're after me! I didn't do anything that you both didn't deserve," He snarls, his face moving closer to mine. The veins in his neck is popping out, so far that I'm afraid they'll burst open.

"I-i don't know what you're talking about Rick..."

"You goddamn know what I'm talking about, Ana! The cops-all of them! They're after me! I didn't do anything except give you some discipline!"

"I don't think punching me counts as discipline!" I yell, angry at his wayword dismisal of his actions. Discipline? Really? Who _is_ this guy?

"Well, when you go whoring around the neighborhood doing God knows what, yeah I think counts as discipline!"

His words stir something inside of me. My knees rears up, making direct contact with his groin. He buckles back, clutching himself in pain. His eyes bug out in shock and anger, his face turning a ghastly shade of red. I don't know if it's because of how everyone has been assuming I'm a whore just because I'm pregnant, or if I'm just fed up with Rick, but I can't help myself. It's like my body had a mind of it's own, my brain not controlling my movements. I think I must've been momentarily brain-dead to have done something so stupid. I look back in fear, and a smidgeon of satisfaction. It felt amazing to get back at him for all the pain he's cause my family, but I have no idea how he's going to react. He'll probably try to kill me, and that's not an exaggeration.

"You bitch," he snarls before lunging at me.

I turn to run, but my clumsiness hinders me from getting even a fraction away from him. I slip on the wet concrete, my arm slamming against the ground. I groan out in pain, when I suddenly feel Rick's arms around me, pulling me up towards him. One fist has my hair wrapped around it, restricting me from being able to pull away, and his other arm is clutched around my waist, dragging me towards the car. My only thought is why there is no one trying to help me. My question is answered when I look around-there's nobody in sight. All I see is trees, grass, and sidewalk. Where the hell am I? I don't remember walking this far. But my mind was preoccupied with other things-I doubt I was focused on where I was headed.

I scream, hoping that someone will hear me, but the probability of that is slim. Rick tells me to shut up, but what makes him think I will listen? I scream louder, desperaetly trying to attract attention, but it's no use. There's no one around to hear me. Rick drags me along, my feet scraping against the ground as I struggle to get away from him. He opens the backseat, and quickly throws me inside. I spring up to open the door, but find out it's locked. When did he have time to do that?

Rick slides in the front seat, and peers back from behind his headrest to look at me.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Ana. You're my daughter. Just relax," he replies in a soothing manner.

What makes him think that I would relax? And I'm not his daughter! I stare back at him in bewilderment, and I realize in this moment that this man has serious mental problems.

"Now put your seat belt on," he commands.

I do as I'm told. I don't want to make him upset again. I don't know where he's taking me, but I'm not going to piss him off and cause him to do something irrational. I buckle the belt, and sit back. Rick occasionally stares at me from the rearview mirror to make sure I'm not trying to escape. Does he think I'm stupid? I'm not going to try to upset him. For now, I'm just going to be a good girl, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to try at all. I take my phone out from my back pocket, making sure that I don't look suspicious, or that the phone is visible. I slip it under my sweater, and quickly dial Christian's number.

* * *

I'm trying so hard to not kill everyone in this room. I keep my eyes cast down on my paper, not looking anywhere near any of the other students in the room. I know they're all lookng at me-I don't care though. Let the bastards look, but if they say one bad thing about Ana I swear I'll rip their heads off. This stupid school is full of idiot preps who don't have anything better to do than gossip. When they find out about a new scandal, they cling to it like leeches. Me and Ana just happen to be the topic of conversation. I don't care about what these assholes think, but I know it's going to hurt Ana. That's the only reason it's bothering me.

Ana.

Where the hell is she? I didn't actually think she was being serious when she said she was leaving. I thought it was just her hormones acting up. I thought she would just probably stew inside the girls bathroom, but would soon realize that what these lowlifes think isn't worth getting upset over. Then she would exit with a determinated attitude-just like she always does, and would face the day with an armor of steel (no pun intended) around her heart. But that's not what happened. Instead of her ignoring it, she really did leave. If I would've known that she was being serious, I would've followed her. But as always, I fucked up. I failed in protecting her, and now she's out somewhere alone. I hope she just went back home. I don't want her wandering outside. There's probably pedophiles lurking at every corner. The more I think about it, the more I have the urge to burst out of this room and go look for her. Trust me, I definitely contemplated it, but I can't. I have to do good-for Ana's and the babies' sake.

My phone buzzes, startling me momentarily. I check the caller ID, and realize it's Ana.

"Mrs. Frizzle, may I go to the bathroom," I ask.

"Make it quick," she mumbles, not bothering to look up from her work papers.

I race out the room, a little bit worriesome. I know she wouldn't call unless she needed something-so what could be wrong. I turn left into the bathroom, and as soon as I'm in there I answer my phone.

"Hello, Ana?" I say.

There's no answer. I check to see if I lost the connection, but it still says that she's on the line. I call her name again, but she still doesn't say anything. I listen closely, and it sounds like she's in a car.

"Ana, what's going on?" I demand.

Now I'm getting annoyed. If she needs something, why doesn't she just come out and say it?

_"Rick, where are you taking me?"_

Rick? What the hell? Why is she with that bastard?

"Ana, what that hell? What's going on?"

_"Don't worry, Ana just sit back."_

_"Please tell me. I'm just curious."_

_"I said don't worry! Now sit back and shut up,"_

My heart starts pounding. He has her. Why the hell does he have her?! I inwardly swear. I shouldn't have just let her walk off alone. What the hell is wrong with me? I have a job to protect them and I keep failing!

"Ana? Can you here me? Tell me where you're at," I coax.

_"Rick, do you think we could stop at the Jack in the Box that's coming up? I'm kind of hungry."_

Jack in the Box? I know there's one about two miles from the school. Could she be talking about that one? I know she couldn't have walked too far from the school, so it must be that one.

"Ana, I'm coming, don't worry," I say before racing out of the bathroom and out to my car.

* * *

"You're so pretty, you know that?" He says while stroking the side of my face.

I try not to gag. I want nothing more to rip his hand off of my face, but I restrain myself. I have to play nice.

"When are you going to let me go?" I ask him.

"After I get what I want."

"What do you want?"

I'm quite afraid of what he could say. What does he want? To dismember me? Beat me again? I ponder why my mother ever married this freak. I tried to tell her something was seriously wrong with him, but of course she didn't listen. I try to remember the last time she actually listened to me.

"I want what I lost," he says cryptically.

"Okay.. We'll come back. Mom and I will forget about all of this ever happened and everything will go back to normal," I murmur, trying to bargain with him. I would say anything for him to just let me out of here.

Rick's hand connects with my face with a resounding _slap. _I gasp in shock. It happened so quickly I barely felt it, or saw it coming.

"You're lying! You're going to tell on me," he whispers, sounding like a child.

I grimace at him. I've never felt more fearful than in this moment. I've never seen him look so mentally unstable. I clutch my stomach. What could he possibly want? I can't stop the cops from coming after him. The damage is already done, and frankly, he deserves it. I'm not going to let him get away with what he did to me and mom. I do, however, need to protect me and my children.

"Okay, I'm sorry for lying," I say slowly, trying to appease him. "But you can just get out of here and I won't tell anyone that you left, or where you went. You could get away," I coax.

"No... It's too late. And it's because of you! You made me do it!" He yells.

"No, Rick-I didn't-"

"Shut up!"

Rick pushes me down onto the seat, the weight of his body causing my back to press against the fabric in an uncomfortable way. I push with all my might, but his body is too heavy. Where 'o where is Christian? Did he get my message? I hope he can find us. He's our only hope.

"Get off! Please!" I beg.

What is he going to do? I pray that he won't hit me. I don't think I could handle the pain, or the possible damage that could happen to my babies. My fists pound against his chest, being as forceful as I can. I'm not going to let this end up like last time.

"Stop fighting!" He yells.

Stop figthing? Ha! Of course not, I'll only stop fighting until I'm away from him and out of danger. I bring my fist up again, but Rick grabs my hand, halting my attack. I try to pull away, but his grip is forceful. He puts my hand above my head, and quickly grabs the other one to do the same. I struggle against him, but of course it's no use. My struggles do not affect him, he keeps a steady hold of my hands, and his other one snakes down my body. I shudder and groan in disgust. I don't want his slimy hands touching my body. Where is Christian? I need him! Rick's hands snake lower, his grip stopping above the hem of my pants. I cringe. Oh no, please not _that. _I scream, even though I know it won't work. I have no idea where he's taken me, and it's completely deserted out here. I can't see anyone, or anything in sight. No buildings, no cars, no road, no people. I'm stuck here with this lunatic, not knowing what disgusting things he's going to do. He grabs my pants, sliding them down. I yell in panic and disgust. Why would he want _this? _What could he possibly gain out of this? He tosses them on the floor, moving to undo his belt buckle.

I feel like I'm dying inside. I would've taken a million beatings over this horrible treatment. I can't believe that he's going to do this to me. And it makes me furious that I can't stop it. It makes it even worse that I'm not protecting my babies. Would this hurt them? I hope that it doesn't. I just had to be stupid and run away didn't I? Running away from your problems only causes more problems, whichis what's exactly happening to me. This bastard is going to soil me-rip apart the place that _only _Christian has been. The thought makes me want to cry.

So I do.

My vision is blurred by my tears, but I can see a shadow behind Rick's head. The backseat door flies open, and Rick's body is thrown off of mine. Christian's face is livid, his eyes so dark they're almost black. He finds my pants on the floor, and swiftly throws them at me.

"Put them on," he snarls out.

His tone scares me, even though I know he'd never hurt me, but I know that he could hurt Rick.

"Christian, don't do anything stupid," I whisper.

He ignores me, instead walking over to where Rick's body is a heap on the ground. He turns him over, his fist making contact with his face. I cringe. I can't look at this.

"Don't you ever fucking touch her again!" He yells, all the while he continues to punch Rick mercilously.

I look down, not able to stomach the scene in front of me. Of course Rick deserves this-but I hate watching Christian like this. The look he gets in his eye.. It's frightening. The sweet, gentle man I'm in love with is completely gone, and now all that's left is.. a monster. It makes me sick.

"Christian please," I beg.

He doesn't hear me. He doesn't hear anything when he's like this. It's like he's blind and deaf-seeing and hearing nothing other than getting revenge.

"I'm in pain!" I yell. I feel guilty for lying, but I know the only way he'll stop is if I make him worry about me.

It works.

His head snaps towards mine, and his eyes fill with worry, the anger leaving his pupils. His grey eyes are slowly turning back to their original color instead of the black abyss they were before. He throws Rick back to the ground, quickly making his way over to me.

"Are you okay?" He asks while checking me over for any injuries.

"I'm fine, just please get me out of here," I ask.

He nods, pulling me away from Rick and his car. Christian opens his car door for me, before quickly jumping in the drivers side and pulling away. We drive in a tense silence, Christians jaw locked tight. Is he angry at me? Did he think I wanted it? I shudder at the thought. There was no way I wanted anything from that psychotic asshole.

"Please don't be mad," I murmur, not looking up to meet his eyes.

Christian scoffs and looks at me like I have two heads.

"I'm not mad at you, Ana. I could never be. I'm furious about what that asshole's done to you-to you guys!" He says, gesturing to my stomach.

I clutch it in response to his statement. Thank God we weren't hurt.

"I wanted to kill him. Even more than that morning I saw your bruises. I would've done it you wouldn't have stopped me... I really would've," he says through his teeth.

I look down, knowing that he's probably right. What did I do to deserve this? What did my mother do to deserve this? All she wanted was love, and she wound up with some crazie for a husband.

"And the kids at school! I know they were talking about you. It drove me crazy, Ana! I wanted to hurt all of them for saying things about you. I know what Coach said to you... I would've kicked the shit out of him if I could."

"This is all just so crazy, Ana!" He says, punching the steering wheel for emphasis. I jump in response. I don't know what to say to him. Everything he's saying is right. I didn't know how stressful this was for him. It makes me feel guilty. I don't know, but I can't stop feeling responsible for our problems.

"I'm sorry... So sorry," I whisper.

"Stop saying sorry, Ana! This isn't all your fault. When are you going to get that through your head? It's both of our faults, okay?! You can't keep blaming yourself."

"I-"

"Don't start," he demands, cutting me off. "I wish this would've happened a little bit longer down the line, but... I love you. Okay? And I need to keep you guys safe."

His words melt my heart. When I found out about my pregnancy, I thought Christian would run. I wasn't expecting him to step up to the plate. It's not that I didn't believe in him, it's just, how many teenage fathers actually stay with the mother's? Not a whole lot. I'm one of the lucky ones.

"I love you too," I answer honestly.

Christian grabs my hand, our intwined fingers sitting on the car console. Our hands look like complete opposites-his tan and large, mine pale and small, but somehow they fit.

"I have to protect you guys... And the only way I know how to do that is if we leave."

"Leave... What? What are you talking about, Christian?"

"Go somewhere else. It's not good for us if we stay here. School's becoming an issue-neither of us can conecentrate there. It's stressing you out, and that's not good for the babies. You almost got raped back there by that psycho, and who knows how long it'll take for the cops to get him? He could hide from them and come back to get you and Carla. It's not safe having him around. And my parents... They hate me. I can't stand looking at their faces every morning. My dad is so dissappointed. He looks at me like I'm just a fuck-up."

"That's not true-"

"Yes it is, Ana. He hates me... and my mom. She looks so... sad. I can't deal with it anymore, okay? I've put her through hell ever since she adopted me... I bet she wishes she never had."

I gasp. That's not true! Grace adores Christian, I know she does. I would even go as far to say that Christian is her favorite, and for Christian to say that she regrets adopting him... It saddens and somewhat offends me.

"Christian! They love you! They're just... confused. This is hard for them, but it doesn't mean they hate you!"

"That doesn't matter, Ana. It's still causing them pain. And every second we spend in this town.. It's not good for us."

Maybe he has a point, but we can't just drop everything and flee. What good would that do?

"I know where you're coming from.. It's not safe.. But I can't leave my mom, and you can't leave your parents. What would we do about money? What about school? We'd both be dropouts. Who would want to hire us? Where would we live? How would we eat?" I ask. His plan sounds.. amazing. I would want nothing more than to run away with Christian, but it's just not realistic.

Christian heads to the side of the road and quickly pulls over. When he stops the car, he turns towards me, pulling my hands into his. His eyes bore into mine. I'm not quite sure I'm ready for what he's going to say.

"Okay, where to start? Um, your mom. You don't want to leave her, right? Well.. I think you would be happier that way. Ana.. Carla's a great woman, but when was the last time she actually took care of you? Or listened? Do you remember two summers ago, when you climbed through my window at 2 in the morning, crying about how you guys had gotten into another fight? I just.. I think being away from her would help. Think about it, you almost got raped because of _her _husband. You were beaten by _her _husband, and the only reason he's her husband, is because she didn't listen to you. I think you should stop taking care of her, and focus on taking care of yourself and our kids."

I gape at him. Did he really just use that against me? I snatch my hands out of his, rage coursing through my body. I know my mom isn't the best mother, but the way he put it made it seem like she was... neglecting me. Holy hell, is she? I don't want to think of my mother as a bad person, but... I don't know what to think about her. We've had such a rough relationship after Ray left, and I remember wishing that I could just get away from her... Maybe I should.

"Ana, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine... you're right. She hasn't.. been there for me. I don't even know where she is right now.. but that doesn't mean I can just leave her, Christian. She's my mother, I love her."

"I know you do.. but how are you going to handle looking after yourself, your mom, and our children growing inside you? It's too much."

His words make sense, but I'm still not fully convinced. I can't just pack up and go-the thought is impossible.

"Fine... Just continue on with what you were going to say," I mutter.

"Okay, so where are we now? Uh, right, money. I've already got that covered. My parents set up a college fund for me.. I'll use that if we plan on leaving."

"Your college fund?! You can't! I think it would be more beneficial if you actually used the money for college, instead of running off to God know's where!"

"Ana.. I want to be a businessman. I can do that without college. Look at Rockerfeller-he didn't even go to college! He dropped out. And Steve Jobs-he only went to college for six months. A business is run by determination and hard work, not necessarily by a college degree."

I shake my head. Really? That's his explanation? No doubt Christian has the drive to run a company.. but it's too risky. How many people-despite their determination-could actually succeed in building a successful business?

"If you say so.." I murmur.

"Ana... I know I can do it. And school-you could go online. They have that nowadays."

"I'm not going to school online, Christian. Nobody actually takes that serious."

"Columbia and Harvard offer online classes-I don't think people care if you went to an ivy league online or on campus as long as you went there. Do you know how many kids in America go to high school online? A lot, and I think it wouldn't be a problem as long as you get good grades."

Well, he has a point there.

"Okay.. Jobs? I'd get an internship, and you'd stay home going to school and keeping yourself healthy."

"But that's another thing-Where would we live, and how would we eat?"

"My college fund could get us rent on an apartment for about a year, and I'd get a job working at night after my internship."

"You really have this all figured out, don't you?" I ask, somewhat in wonder. He's being deathly serious about it.. and with each word he speaks I find myself wanting more and more to believe that it could work, and go away with him.

"Yes, I want to be with you, Ana. Just us, where we can be safe and not have to worry about hurting other people, or people hurting us."

I look at him, and the determinated look in his eyes causes me to sink lower into his trap. I want to go.. Really, really go.. But I don't know if it's such a good idea. I would love to wake up next to Christian every morning, to not have to worry about going back to that god awful place called "school," and being in a safe place for me and my babies.. but we're too young. I don't know if we could do it.

"I want to be with you too.. but I'm scared."

"Don't be. I would never let anything happen to you, and I wouldn't do something If I thought it would hurt you. I know this is for the best, I promise."

"What if we mess up?"

"Then we try again. We could come back if it doesn't work out."

When he puts it that way... I want to try.

"Okay."

"Okay, what?"

"Okay. I want to go."

"Really?" He asks, his face lighting up in a ghost of a smile.

"Really," I answer.

Christian grins like it's Christmas morning and springs over to kiss me, his mouth connecting with mine. I laugh and kiss him back, just as excited as he is. Deep down though, I have my doubts. I just hope this is as good as it sounds.

_**MUST READ MUST READ MUST READ: Ah, yes. I am officialy the worst author ever. I've kept you guys waiting for how long? Months? I don't even know, but it's inexcusable. I apologize so, so much, and I'm so happy that you guys asked me to keep writing. I started new stories, and I kind of abandoned this one, which I'm sorry for. Part of me stopping is because of lack of reviews. My other story is more popular than this one, but I still love this one more than the other. Lol. I hope you guys can welcome me back with open arms, and I promise I'll never leave you hanging like that again. It was really insensitve, and I'm sorry. So, I made this chapter extra long, and I hope you guys like it. Please review, I just want to know if anyone's still reading. (:**_

_**XOXO**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**MUST READ: Before y'all lynch me, I would like to explain for the lack of update :( I'm sorry guys, that's being a bad author! Buuuuuut, I do have a pretty good excuse. Recently, I've been having some heart troubles. I have a heart murmur, nothing serious, but the doctors were running tons of test on me, so I was in and out of the hospital a lot. Also, I've been unpacking from the move I just recently went through, and I've just been stressed out with a lot of other personal issues I don't really want to discuss in detail. I hope y'all can forgive me and that no one's abandoned me. I'll try to update sooner next time! **_

_**XOXO**_

_**P.S. I'm also currently working on my other two stories if you guys also read those, so don't be alarmed! Oh, and sorry if this chapter sucks, I wrote this pretty quickly because I didn't want to keep you guys waiting.**_

* * *

"Ana, wake up."

I hear his voice, but my body doesn't respond. I groan, I feel as if a 50 pound weight is lying on top of me. Everything feels heavy, especially my eyelids. Long story short, I'm exhausted.

"Do you want to stay in the car?"

I don't even respond to that. Clearly from my lack of movement he could've guessed that. I'm probably only being so crabby since I'm tired, but I have a right to be. Today was utter hell. I don't even want to rehash the events, I don't think I'd have the energy for it. How long have we been driving? I don't know, I wasn't paying attention. After our plan was devised, I was out like a light. Well, you can't really call it a plan-it's more like wishful thinking. I don't have the heart to tell him, but of course this fantasy of ours isn't going to work, no matter how hard he wills it. However, I'll go along with it. I guess a part of me is dying for it to work too.

"Okay, I'll be right back.. Don't move."

He slams the car door and is on his way. He doesn't have to worry about my movements-I most definitely wasn't planning on going anywhere. My eyes are still closed, but I can't seem to fall back asleep. I guess I'm just... anxious? If he actually has access to his college fund-which by the way I don't think he does-think of all the things we could do with that money. I know the Grey's are... extremely wealthy. How much would they leave him? Would they know that the account had been liquidated? Would they look for us? I sigh, all of this is a mess. My brain's too tired to think about our situation, which is not looking too great by the way. I feel like we're two blind people, fumbling along trying to look for something we can't see. What will our future be like? Will we end up like Carla and Ray? I shudder at the thought. I most sincerely hope that I don't end up like my mother, and feel guilty for even thinking that. I love her.. but I don't want to go down the same path she has.

_You're already headed that way!_

I cringe. I guess I am. My mom had me when she was very young. Older than me, but still young. Am I destined to be a bad mother? I feel even more guilty now. How could I think that Carla was a bad mother? She's not, she's just... neglectful? I inwardly sigh. This is too much to think about while I'm still waking up. I just don't know if I want to be a mother.

As if I had an epiphany, I gasp and my eyes spring open. Do I want to be a mother? Am I even excited about the twins? I stare out the window, not focusing on anything particular as I mull over what I just asked myself. Do I really want to be? Does Christian want to be a father? As I think about it, I realize that I do... Just not right now. Especially not under these circumstances. But what can I do? Abort them? I would never do that. How could I when it was my fault and not theirs? Why would I take their life when they had done nothing wrong? It was a horrid thought to think about. I don't understand how someone could do that to their child. I never would be able to. I close my eyes again, still feeling extremely worn out. What the hell is going on? I feel like my life is spiraling out of control.

First, I manage to fuck up and somehow get myself pregnant. Second, my mother's psycho husband beats us, then tries to rape me. And to top it all off, now Christian and I are running off to God knows where. As of now, we have no money, no place to stay, and we are currently job-less high school dropouts.

Perfect.

I want to cry and scream... but haven't I been doing that enough? When I look back on it, I've never done anything but wallow in my self pity. How is that helping us? While Christian was actually working, and doing things to help us have a better future, I've been sitting around being a cry-baby. What is that going to accomplish for my kids?

Not a damn thing.

I've been nothing but cynical and angry about everything. But why? That's not solving anything. I realize that now than ever I want this plan of ours to work. I want to go away and have a better life. I want to us to be a family, just the four of us barricaded in our quaint little house, away from the rest of the world.

Where no one could touch us.

I want to be able to provide for them, to always be there. I want Christian and I to stay together, to be happy. I don't want to end up like Carla and Ray. It would kill me. I want all of these things... but are they realistic? Can I achieve them? I desperately want it. I have this urge in the pit of my stomach, a need embedded deep in my chest. I would do anything for it. No, I _will_ do anything for it. I want to give them the life I never had. I want to have the life _I_ never had... and I can't stop until I get what I want. I won't stop.

"Okay, let's go... Are you okay? You look pale?" Christian says as he slides into the drivers seat.

I peer at him. He doesn't look angry, so that must mean... He got it? That's impossible. I know it's improbable... but I can't help the hope that blossoms in my chest. If he got the money... we would be set. We could leave and start over. My heart is pounding. I know that it's far-fetched that he could pull this off, but I allow myself to hope, just for a small second.

"How did it go?" I ask, my voice sounding hoarse. I grimace at it's discordant tone.

"Just as I planned. Here," he said, passing me an envelop.

"What's in this?" I question, too afraid to open it. It's... full. Extremely so. What did he do? Rob them?

"Money, obviously. Are you okay?"

He puts his hand to my forehead, checking for a fever. He shouldn't be worried about me, I'm more worried about him. Wouldn't his parents have full control over the account? Wouldn't he need some sort of permission from them? It just doesn't make sense to me. We _are_ eighteen, but I still don't think that would allow him to take control of the account.

"Well, duh. I know that's what's in there.. but how did you get it?

Christian shuffles nervously, playing with the collar of his shirt. I raise an eyebrow at him. Oh, gosh. He did rob them, didn't he?

"Don't worry about it."

"How can I not? I think I deserve to know. Is this how we're going to start our life together? Keeping things from each other?"

"No... It's just I'm not really proud of what I did."

"Christian, please just tell me," I coax. He's starting to scare me now.

"I.. lied.. and threatened them. I know you don't like stuff like that, Ana, but I had to! We need this for our family, for our life toget-"

"Just tell me what you said."

I _am_ disappointed in him... but I can't find it in myself to be angry. I'm almost... happy that he did what he did. Does that make me a bad person? Does it make me immoral? Lying and blackmailing people.. that's, that's despicable... But I don't care how he got it, and that makes me hate myself. I should feel bad, right? I really wish I could.

"It's a college fund, so as soon as I graduated I would have full access. They put the account in my name, but they still had control until I was of age and until I graduated."

"Clearly, I'm of age, but it's the graduation part I don't have down. We could've waited until graduation, of course.. but Ana we need to leave now. It's for the best. You and I both know that... With all the danger and the stress, it's not good for you. It's not good for _us_. So, I made up this bullshit lie about how I had earned enough credits to graduate early. It was stupid and full of holes, but the lady wasn't too bright so that's good I guess."

"She wanted to call my parents for confirmation, but I told her.. I told her that would upset my parents extremely. We're currently their biggest source of revenue. We have... a lot of money invested in there and they respect us. I told her that they would be so appalled that she didn't believe their son, that they would transfer their money to a different bank. It was a horrible lie! I don't even know why she believed me... I guess I'm just persuasive."

"But Ana it was bad. The look on her face.. I felt disgusted for misleading her. I didn't want to, but we need this. We need this more than anyone could ever know.. And isn't that what businessmen do? They try to sway people, to make them want to be apart of their plan. To make them trust them.. right? Wasn't I just doing what I'm good at?"

He looked at me, his face contorted with guilt. He wanted me to tell him that it was fine, that we had to do what we had to do, but I couldn't tell him that. It was wrong, but I've never been so happy about a bad decision in my life.

"Not if it's at the expense of someone else. She might get fired, Christian. You're parents are gonna freak when they find out we're gone. They're going to know that the only way we could've left is because of that money."

"I know. I'm sorry! I hated lying, but wasn't it worth it? Don't tell me that it's not, Ana. You won't admit it, but I know you want this just as much as I do... I know you."

"You're right.. I do, but there's this part of me that's yelling that we shouldn't do this. That it's irrational.. but I never wanted anything more than I want this. I want our plan to work, I want us to be a family.. but how are we supposed to survive on our own. I'm scared," I whispered, "but, Christian... I'm gonna try. I really am. I just need to know that it'll work, because I'm not going to put my whole heart into this and then fail. We can't fail, and that's the biggest thing I'm afraid of."

"Ending up like Carla and Ray would rip my heart apart. I love you... so much, and I'm terrified that making such a big step would ruin us.. Not to mention how hard it will be! Finding a place to live, a job, how to feed ourselves, how to provide for our kids that will be here in about six months! I.. I don't know what we're doing, or where we're going... I just know that I want to be where you are, but we can't fail. You need to look me in my eyes, and promise me that you'll never give up!" I gritted through my teeth, the tears welling up in my eyes ready to spill over any second.

He looked at me, pure devotion shining bright in those grey orbs of his. Without a doubt I would do this, because I was tired of sitting around and not taking control of my life. I didn't care that we were jumping into this, I didn't care at all anymore. There was nothing else to lose.

"I promise," he says, his warm hands brushing the tears from my face.

* * *

"I'm sorry it can't be something better, but this is the only hotel I could find that didn't check age and allows you to pay with cash," he murmured, his voice apologetic.

"It's fine," I said, before erupting into a loud yawn.

I'm even more exhausted than before. My body is aching, my feet are sore. It feels as if I'll pass out any second now. All of this exhaustion and stress can't be good for the babies. My heart skips a beat as I think about how all of this could be affecting them. I'm going to have to slow down soon. I really need to start making better lifestyle choices for them.

"Lie down, baby," Christian commanded, worry starting to flow through his face.

"Which one of us are you talking to?" I quipped.

Christian chuckled and collapsed on the bed. He might be able to hide it well, but I know he was just as tired as I was. I also knew that he was less than impressed with our surroundings. He was a trust fund baby, rich since he was a toddler. I doubt he's been at such low class places recently.

"You, the oldest one," he responded.

I smiled and spread out next to him, my head falling on his chest. I listened to his heartbeat, the strong steady tenor of it slowly lulling me to sleep. He wrapped his arms around me and I grew even more content.

"Are you happy?" I asked, wanting to let go of what was nagging me all day.

"About what?"

"About.. the twins," I whispered, afraid of his answer.

There was a moment of silence, and fear slowly started to creep into my chest. Oh, God why was I so stupid? What if he realized that he didn't want this and left me? I wouldn't blame him, why would he want to stay with me? I've never been good enough and I hardly think he'd want to have even more responsibilities.

"Happy? I'm not really sure. I don't feel like screaming at the rooftops.. But I'm not going to reject them, Ana, or you for that matter. I love you-never forget that, and I won't leave you, no matter what. And they're a part of you, how could I not love them? Our situation isn't the best... but I want to make the most of it."

The smile spread across my face was so wide I was afraid my skin might crack. Hearing those words soothed that little insecure part of me that was constantly telling me that this wouldn't work. I didn't want to believe that. I think... I think that if we try hard enough that it would work. People are in control of their own fate, so if we worked hard enough, why couldn't we end up happy? I sighed and closed my eyes, absolutely at peace for the first time today. It was a long time before Christian spoke again, and by that time I was halfway asleep.

"You don't have to worry about Rick anymore, baby... I took care of all of it," he murmured ominously.

I lifted my head to look at him, but quickly lowered it. I was too tired to think, I was way too tired to move. What did he mean by that? When did he even have time? He was with me all day... Except for when we were at the bank. Was he keeping secrets from me? I was getting ready to ask, but my eyelids were increasingly getting heavier, and my vision was getting more unfocused by the second. I wanted to stay awake and interrogate him, but I was slowly slipping away into unconsciousness. The last thought I had was of grey -eyed, copper-haired children dancing at my feet.

* * *

_**MUST READ: Review! And please don't kill me for the short length. I'm trying to update again tomorrow. Can y'all also leave me some suggestions? I want to spice this story up, it's getting a little repetitive. You guys have some crazy things running around in those minds of yours, so spread the wealth! **_

_**XOXO**_

_**P.S. If you notice that I'm using the term "y'all" a lot, it's because I've moved down south. And yes, everyone here says y'all.**_


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